saturday night - MAY TRIGGER
hey all,
Trigger - Dissociation, od, si, hospitals.
ok i am now only on 6 days. i managed to gpo for 7 weeks and 5 days at first, then saturday night happened, and i know i am not back at square one, but sometimes it fucking feels like it.
ok basically i od'd without knowing what i was doing...took 4 times the amount of sewroquel that i am meant to. thought something was up when i could feel my heart starting to race so went into the living room to find the empty packets :( i was so pissed off with myself i ended up cutting to punish myself. took some persuading but i went to hospital, i had texted gabs to say what was happening, but just told Daff "i'm sorry" cause didn't know how to tell him when i had promised not to do it again, with the plan of ringing him on sunday and telling him.
i was basically completely out of it for 24 hours...i couldn't even give them my parents number when i was admitted (and i ring them every day!) and finally got out on tuesday morning (i had to wait for my heart rate to come under 90, cause for 48 hours it went between 90ish and 125) Judith is going to go mad at me on friday and i am dreading it.
anyway i will try and post how i am feeling later tonight when back home cause in uni as my printer is refusing to work, and now scared people will see what i am typing
Trigger - Dissociation, od, si, hospitals.
ok i am now only on 6 days. i managed to gpo for 7 weeks and 5 days at first, then saturday night happened, and i know i am not back at square one, but sometimes it fucking feels like it.
ok basically i od'd without knowing what i was doing...took 4 times the amount of sewroquel that i am meant to. thought something was up when i could feel my heart starting to race so went into the living room to find the empty packets :( i was so pissed off with myself i ended up cutting to punish myself. took some persuading but i went to hospital, i had texted gabs to say what was happening, but just told Daff "i'm sorry" cause didn't know how to tell him when i had promised not to do it again, with the plan of ringing him on sunday and telling him.
i was basically completely out of it for 24 hours...i couldn't even give them my parents number when i was admitted (and i ring them every day!) and finally got out on tuesday morning (i had to wait for my heart rate to come under 90, cause for 48 hours it went between 90ish and 125) Judith is going to go mad at me on friday and i am dreading it.
anyway i will try and post how i am feeling later tonight when back home cause in uni as my printer is refusing to work, and now scared people will see what i am typing