The Heroes of William McKinley High (Glee, Kurt/Puck, PG13, Slash)
Title: The Heroes of William McKinley High
Author: kristories
Fandom: Glee (slight Max Brooks crossover)
Character/Paring: Kurt/Puck
Rating: PG-13
Warning: slash, character death
Summary: “Mayor Figgins tells me the two of you are the Heroes of William McKinley. What’s that like?"
Kurt shares a distasteful look with Puck. They’re waiting to be interviewed, sitting in the lobby of the Windgate on West Street on order of Mayor-Principal Figgins, when Max Brooks had come to town. It’s a nice place, Kurt reflects. The curtains are mostly un-singed, the furniture is mostly untouched and -
“Hey, you can’t even see the Burn Pit from here,” Puck is such a philistine Kurt can barely believe he’s lowered himself to dating him. If only Finn hadn’t been eaten in the first wave, Kurt is sure their love would have been legendary.
“So,” Mr. Brooks asks. “You and Puck, you’re a few of the only survivors from Lima, Ohio, tell me about the school. Mayor Figgins tells me the two of you are the Heroes of William McKinley. What’s that like?”
***
Maybe it was the almost comical look on Rachel’s undead face when the slushy cup cum shiv hit her in the eye, or maybe it was just the irony of her undeath being exactly like her life, but either way the only thing Kurt could think when the slushy cup pierced her frontal lobe was:
“I’m going to need the world’s most extensive spa day when this is over.”
“No, really, I’m killing zombies for you here and all you’re thinking of is your facial?” Puck demands.
“And also my manicure,” Kurt replies with a moue of distaste. “I think I broke a nail on Mr. Schuester’s head.”
Puck snorts in disgust and kicks Rachel’s body over to the side. “Cleaning out the school is just about the worst idea I ever agreed to,” he says. Mayor-Principal Figgins really wanted the terror and sneak attacks that were zombie Coach Sylvester stopped.
There’s a pitiful moaning sound and Kurt spins around and nails Santana as hard as he can with the baseball bat that Puck had procured for him. She spins around almost lazily and falls face down on the floor, at least this way he can’t see the way the bat crumpled the side of her head in.
“I’m totally sorry, for, you know, killing your second to last girlfriend,” Kurt says. There’s a sharp snap and Mercedes body, looking absolutely fabulous in the Hugo Boss purple and grey sweater that Kurt bought her two months ago, before this whole thing started.
“Yeah, whatever, me too,” Puck says in that disaffected tone he gets when he’s pretending to be macho. There’s a familiar squeak of sneakers on linoleum and both Puck and Kurt freeze. Kurt looks down the hallway towards the gym doors. A familiar blonde head disappears as fast as it appeared.
“We need to move,” Puck says, authoritatively.
“Yeah,” Kurt says and follows Puck carefully, checking behind and all around them.
Kurt trips over a fallen locker door, winces at the hungry sound that rises from behind them. Coach Sylvester is now making her slow, undead way up the hallway.
“Well at least we know that there’s no one else undead in here,” Puck says with the ‘keep your ass quiet’ glare that Kurt has become intimately aquatinted with. Being stalked by Sue Sylvester before the Solanum virus was scary enough to kill any amorous thoughts but an as yet un-killable zombie Sue Sylvester even more so.
Mid-glare, Puck trips over an exposed pipe that clatters into a row of lockers, they both freeze, the lockers wobble threateningly and then topple over, firmly braining Coach Sylvester on the way down.
Maybe she’s not so un-killable after all.
“So does this make us, like, heroes?” Puck asks.
***
Kurt considers the answer very carefully before shrugging a shoulder beneath his artfully draped, only slightly frayed, Armani suit jacket.
“It’s okay,” he says. Beside him Puck twines their hands together and nods his agreement.
/end
Author: kristories
Fandom: Glee (slight Max Brooks crossover)
Character/Paring: Kurt/Puck
Rating: PG-13
Warning: slash, character death
Summary: “Mayor Figgins tells me the two of you are the Heroes of William McKinley. What’s that like?"
Kurt shares a distasteful look with Puck. They’re waiting to be interviewed, sitting in the lobby of the Windgate on West Street on order of Mayor-Principal Figgins, when Max Brooks had come to town. It’s a nice place, Kurt reflects. The curtains are mostly un-singed, the furniture is mostly untouched and -
“Hey, you can’t even see the Burn Pit from here,” Puck is such a philistine Kurt can barely believe he’s lowered himself to dating him. If only Finn hadn’t been eaten in the first wave, Kurt is sure their love would have been legendary.
“So,” Mr. Brooks asks. “You and Puck, you’re a few of the only survivors from Lima, Ohio, tell me about the school. Mayor Figgins tells me the two of you are the Heroes of William McKinley. What’s that like?”
***
Maybe it was the almost comical look on Rachel’s undead face when the slushy cup cum shiv hit her in the eye, or maybe it was just the irony of her undeath being exactly like her life, but either way the only thing Kurt could think when the slushy cup pierced her frontal lobe was:
“I’m going to need the world’s most extensive spa day when this is over.”
“No, really, I’m killing zombies for you here and all you’re thinking of is your facial?” Puck demands.
“And also my manicure,” Kurt replies with a moue of distaste. “I think I broke a nail on Mr. Schuester’s head.”
Puck snorts in disgust and kicks Rachel’s body over to the side. “Cleaning out the school is just about the worst idea I ever agreed to,” he says. Mayor-Principal Figgins really wanted the terror and sneak attacks that were zombie Coach Sylvester stopped.
There’s a pitiful moaning sound and Kurt spins around and nails Santana as hard as he can with the baseball bat that Puck had procured for him. She spins around almost lazily and falls face down on the floor, at least this way he can’t see the way the bat crumpled the side of her head in.
“I’m totally sorry, for, you know, killing your second to last girlfriend,” Kurt says. There’s a sharp snap and Mercedes body, looking absolutely fabulous in the Hugo Boss purple and grey sweater that Kurt bought her two months ago, before this whole thing started.
“Yeah, whatever, me too,” Puck says in that disaffected tone he gets when he’s pretending to be macho. There’s a familiar squeak of sneakers on linoleum and both Puck and Kurt freeze. Kurt looks down the hallway towards the gym doors. A familiar blonde head disappears as fast as it appeared.
“We need to move,” Puck says, authoritatively.
“Yeah,” Kurt says and follows Puck carefully, checking behind and all around them.
Kurt trips over a fallen locker door, winces at the hungry sound that rises from behind them. Coach Sylvester is now making her slow, undead way up the hallway.
“Well at least we know that there’s no one else undead in here,” Puck says with the ‘keep your ass quiet’ glare that Kurt has become intimately aquatinted with. Being stalked by Sue Sylvester before the Solanum virus was scary enough to kill any amorous thoughts but an as yet un-killable zombie Sue Sylvester even more so.
Mid-glare, Puck trips over an exposed pipe that clatters into a row of lockers, they both freeze, the lockers wobble threateningly and then topple over, firmly braining Coach Sylvester on the way down.
Maybe she’s not so un-killable after all.
“So does this make us, like, heroes?” Puck asks.
***
Kurt considers the answer very carefully before shrugging a shoulder beneath his artfully draped, only slightly frayed, Armani suit jacket.
“It’s okay,” he says. Beside him Puck twines their hands together and nods his agreement.
/end