Comments | zoo_gnosis: The Jungle Book Effect (part 4)

blue_stem_cell in zoo_gnosis

The Jungle Book Effect (part 4)

Mar 23, 2008 23:38

“Put it back.” Jack didn’t even need to address the adult Elric by his name, or look at him for that matter. Bambi gave a snort and put the biscuit back with a huff before picking up a banana, trotting off to sit in the corner. Jack watched him from the corner of his eyes as the Edward split the fruit in half and handed the bigger piece to his ( Read more... )

Comments 10

truly_wished March 24 2008, 00:18:15 UTC

Aw, they're so cute!

blue_stem_cell March 24 2008, 00:35:28 UTC

You think so? ^^...

truly_wished March 24 2008, 03:42:08 UTC

Totally! Especially Bambi but your aggressive Alphonse is pretty sweet.

blue_stem_cell March 24 2008, 09:38:23 UTC

He's just very protective of his "Edward" XD...
<3

engine_blue March 26 2008, 03:42:38 UTC

hm, you didn't write them actually washing: they just got wet and then suddenly were clean. ^__^; Also, hair at the ends gets lighter because it's older hair, not darker. It would get darker up by his head...is that what you were saying? I'm not quite sure what "edges" means there.

Can't wait to see the crazy social worker. It'd be nice to know why Jack's so willing to just let them be Elricky--what's his plan? It'll be nice if there some definitive direction in the next chapter--I'm ready for it. :)

Also: "No where" is spelled like that, not with "know." ^__^

blue_stem_cell March 26 2008, 09:33:45 UTC

*bangs head on the desk* You know i realised that after i posted it and read back through it one more time... ;-; (I'll go back through it this morning and add something...)
And what I meant with was around like his ears and the top of his forehead, I really should stop while I'm ahead...

She's not that crazy, but they're stuck with here ;^^ and you'll find out about Jack and his method of madness a bit later on.

Thank you for the in depth comment again. XD

blue_stem_cell March 26 2008, 10:05:37 UTC

Edited XD

engine_blue March 26 2008, 13:01:42 UTC

you're welcome

ehxhfdl14 March 27 2008, 23:13:26 UTC

Adorable as always :D
But something got me confused- excerpt:
Jack wondered what on earth he was trying to achieve but put it down to the Elric trying to toughen up his smaller mate... Jack watched him from the corner of his eyes as the Edward split the fruit in half and handed the bigger piece to his smaller Alphonse mate.
So who's smaller? And what are their age relations? In the Elrics' confrontation, I read a part that mentioned that said Forrest's mate was "older Alphonse". I thought that the Bambi/Ally pair was older?

blue_stem_cell March 28 2008, 10:40:03 UTC

yeah I've screwed up royally there.
Elric trying to toughen up his smaller mate = Forrest is allot smaller and younger than Foe.
I think i meant small Alphonse as in he's younger than Ally. ><... Akk, I'll just edit that bit XD

Bambi and Ally are about 22/23 (not far from Jack's age)
Forrest is (supposedly) 14 and Foe is 17...
Hope that clears that up XD

but thankyou ^^....See, I need people like you engine to point out my large typoes XD