Here's the Pitch...

Aug 11, 2010 10:31

For Gregory Lorenz the family past has always been a mystery. His uncles detest him and he doesn’t know why.  He never met David Carter, his father.  And his mother, Diana Lorenz? She only gives him empty answers.

Then Greg’s two uncles show up, asking about his upcoming seventeenth birthday. Greg is shocked. But not as shocked as he is once ( Read more... )

bloodbound, novel pitch

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Comments 6

4shatteredstars August 11 2010, 15:35:57 UTC
This definitely sounds like a book I would read! :D
A few suggestions on the pitch: I think all the names are a bit too much, if you left out the name of his father and mother I think it would be more mysterious. And maybe if you left out something about his uncles and just say that he's searching for answers about his father?
One more thing, the words 'empty answers' sounds a little off to me. I don't know why.

But I'm totally excited to read this!

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zora_mc August 11 2010, 19:27:55 UTC
Thank you! =D

I will definitely keep in mind your comment when I edit the pitch.

Glad to know you like it. I'm totally excited too! So you can expect more updates on my novel later on.

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achluomania August 12 2010, 01:12:49 UTC
It definitely sounds like something I'd read, but I agree with Shattered about the uncle thing. It just seems unnecessary. Also, I think that you did mention too many names, but I do suggest leaving Jenna's name in it since she seems important to the story :] Otherwise, it sounds great!

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zora_mc August 13 2010, 20:01:57 UTC
Thanks!
Again, I will be deleting some names. But, yeah, Jenna's has got to stay. =D

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achluomania August 13 2010, 22:18:13 UTC
You're welcome :] and happy belated birthday. I hope it was a good one!

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zora_mc August 14 2010, 19:16:42 UTC
thanks! Yes, it was a great b-day :)

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