sometimes i feel shy
I don't think I'm wanted. I can't tell if this is familiarity with it that I'm feeling, or just comfort in the fact that it feels better than what I was feeling before. If I'm not wanted, I can't control that.
But still, that's making assumptions. Assumptions about his reasons, etc etc. Still, like I said...this assumption makes it feel easier.
ugh. people trap your mind.
Instead of simply accepting and paining over the fact that I liked him so much, now I'm asking why. then I get back to the things he said, the things he did. and then I'm back to making an assumption, because the things he said and the things he did made me feel sowonderful...it feels easier to assume that something changed or it just wasn't what it seemed.
Yeah, I am annoyed with myself for letting someone affect me so easily, and that I enjoyed it so much.
Work tomorrow may be good for me. Or I may brim with hatred. Could go either way. Let me just make it thru, and then Sarah and I can have a ball afterward, and I won't feel so affected.
But still, that's making assumptions. Assumptions about his reasons, etc etc. Still, like I said...this assumption makes it feel easier.
ugh. people trap your mind.
Instead of simply accepting and paining over the fact that I liked him so much, now I'm asking why. then I get back to the things he said, the things he did. and then I'm back to making an assumption, because the things he said and the things he did made me feel sowonderful...it feels easier to assume that something changed or it just wasn't what it seemed.
Yeah, I am annoyed with myself for letting someone affect me so easily, and that I enjoyed it so much.
Work tomorrow may be good for me. Or I may brim with hatred. Could go either way. Let me just make it thru, and then Sarah and I can have a ball afterward, and I won't feel so affected.