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[zukosphoenix]

I am so tired.

I am so overwhelmed.

So angry.

So frustrated.

And I wonder why the fuck I'm still here. No one listens. People don't really care. They say "let me know if you need anything," knowing you will never ask so it's safe to say that since it will never impact them.

I've done everything now for five months. For five months it's been that

Comments

[shiny_elfriend]

Oh Darling, please know you aren't the only one, and focus on your reasons to be here. There are more than you are able to think of easily right now. You are necessary to this world. Just knowing you exist makes me better. I think we all feel alone and unsupported in our struggles. This world is made of stress these days, causing us to be almost completely self-focused just to survive, so that we are barely there for one another, while at the same time being there for one another is more important than ever. We all feel alone, but we are not alone.

[zukosphoenix]

I'm glad to not be alone, but I hate asking for help because we're all in this massive stew of collapse - is this how the Romans felt as their civilization collapsed? Because it feels like it. Yet there are tiny beacons here and there that say "there is still hope." But I'm beyond tired. I am not used to being the adult. I'm not used to doing it all. I didn't for years, then I was all alone for 4 and now I fell back into the "Rich handles everything" pit and now, he can't. I have to. And I honestly just wanna go lay down on the cold sand and wait for the tide to come in.

[shiny_elfriend]

But you won't. Even when we want to, we don't. As hopeless and difficult as things get, you have more hope in you than you know, more courage, too, and more power. You're still here, you badass.

[lin4gondor]

I am so very sad that you are carrying so much stress and so many burdens right now. It definitely sounds like it's more than your fair share. I don't blame you for thinking you are alone and not listened to -- but there are some of us who are listening, even if we can't physically come help you. Sure wish I could! Please know that I love you and I am praying for healing that will give you some relief from the extra burden you are carrying, as well as people to come alongside to help you so that you won't break any more than you already have. Praying that those broken cracks can get mended and strengthened! I also hope you can find a way to express what you are going through and feeling, so that you can be comforted without feeling guilty.

[zukosphoenix]

I know you're always there and praying and hoping for me, love. It means more than you know. I just wish I could give you happy news, maybe just once.

[adrian_the_dork]

Hey mama bear.

It's been a long, long time. I hope you're hanging in there. Even if you're not, it's still nice to see you around.
Hope that you guys are safe from Covid, that the young fella is doing well (my god, he'd be so grown up now) and that Biden/Harris can bring some much-needed sanity to the world soon.

Love you lots.
BB

[zukosphoenix]

Jesus, what an entry for you to have to see. *facepalm

[adrian_the_dork]

I did notice that it was an old one, so was hoping that things were going a bit better. Glad to hear that they are

[zukosphoenix]

I was going to advise you to grab a glass of wine for this reply, but tea will do. Coffee. Strong coffee