Portsmouth

Jan 03, 2011 22:25

Chapter 1: Storm

better for it )

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Comments 21

fififolle January 4 2011, 07:43:20 UTC
Oh Paul! Wee man. Well, tall man *g* God, he's adorable.
This is lovely, I love him smoking on the pier, and Dimitri speaking in Greek :DDD
Mmmm, the sea.And the rain! Your desctiption is wonderful.
I'm very much looking forward to more, and I shall rec this at my journal either now, or after work, which might be better timed :)

Yay! Posting! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
YUM rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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zulu_ottawa January 4 2011, 15:11:26 UTC
Paul is gorgeous, gorgeous. :) Glad you are enjoying, and reccing! \o/

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luveskane January 4 2011, 12:42:37 UTC
Ahh I am hooked already, which is slightly distressing because I have a feeling this will be slash, which I avoid lmao... you're corrupting me ;-)

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zulu_ottawa January 4 2011, 15:09:22 UTC
Don't despair! I can't write slash at all, so this will be more of a friendship thing. No corruption! Lol.

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luveskane January 4 2011, 16:41:39 UTC
Oh yay *grins* More like a bromance :D I like those lol

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zulu_ottawa January 5 2011, 00:22:00 UTC
LOL. Bromance! Sure! :P

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keli January 4 2011, 17:51:34 UTC
Wonderful descriptions! I was right there with them with the beautiful way you lay out your scenes. I am in love with these two already!

I am so looking forward to reading more! Dimitri seems broken... they both do a little in a way. Poor guys... but damn I love angst! :D

I'd write more but darn my lunch is over!

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zulu_ottawa January 5 2011, 00:37:04 UTC
YAY! So glad you're liking these two. They do seem a little broken, and it's just the beginning! I think it's just the adjustment taking toll - they're both so young, and for Paul, with his father putting him on edge, it's all a bit difficult. I also think I just naturally write angst. lol.

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lovexwentxred January 4 2011, 22:55:45 UTC
HE SPOKE GREEK! HE SPOKE GREEK! HEEEEE. *flails*

Also, I'm lovingggg how you're pointing out the certain natural ability Dimitri has of being a spook. It's just a natural talent with him, and sure, he has things to learn, but the basics, it's just there.

Also, your characters...whether Dimitri, or completely your own like Paul or his father, the descriptions always are SO spot on. I can SEE them so perfectly; both their personalities and their physical descriptions. And I think I might tell you that all the time, BUT IT'S TRUE OKAY. I just have to reiterate. LOL.

This was greatttt!

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zulu_ottawa January 5 2011, 00:49:00 UTC
*flaps* I GET ALL GIDDY WITH YOUR COMMENTS.

I think it's a requirement Dimitri speak Greek at least once, don't you? Because it's lovely. *g*

At first that natural spooking was just a joke of Paul's, but yes, what you point out is true. He is observant, but he's also so young here, so he's got a lot to learn. Like Paul says, 'You've got to work on the subtlety.' He has an instinct, but he's not finessed it.

*blushes* Thank you! I'm always nervous about original characters, and I'm so glad that Paul has been so well received. I have a compulsion to be very descriptive, I think stemming from being artistic. I don't mind that you reiterate, it convinces me that I'm writing something well, by the fact that people are responding to it and seeing it all as clearly as I do when I write it.

So thanks again! More soon (I can't stay away from these two for long). :D

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lovexwentxred January 5 2011, 01:36:26 UTC
HEEE. You are too kind to my little old comments. <333

YES. He must speak Greek once at least. Two, three, or four + times I would not be averse to either. ;)

I love the descriptiveness, and it's not over descriptive you know? It paints the picture beautifully but at the same time lets the reader infer from certain details too. Keep using that artisticness in your writing I say!

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zulu_ottawa January 5 2011, 02:03:38 UTC
I take your comments to heart, bb, so you'd best not say anything mean! lol.

Oh, at least. I don't know if I trust the translator enough to use it for more than just snippets, though.

Aw, thank you! I don't like to be overly descriptive, I like subtlety, because I feel that people are smart enough to not be hit over the head with description of eye colour, you know? I'm not expert, but you don't have to go into minute detail. BLAH BLAH. It gets old, and tedious. I'm not OCD enough to write that way, but I think you do need to paint the picture of appearances, and personality, and how they're altered by certain environments, but should keep it short. I think you should give an initial description, and then play on it, add to it, with changes in place, age, expression etc.

The artisticness is how I naturally write. ;P

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dweomeroflight January 6 2011, 09:28:35 UTC
I love the way you write. It somehow fits Spooks so beautifully! And I enjoy angst and your beautiful backstories that seem so realistic!

You have managed to give so much more to Dimitri then the show ever did and Paul is awesome!

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zulu_ottawa January 7 2011, 01:52:45 UTC
Thank you! It's a real compliment that you think it fits with canon and seems realistic. I'm also glad you think my characters are dimensional and like Paul so much. More soon!

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