This is Mr T, the phone police
"Carefully prepared self-destruction? 2 popular AKB members and a Johnny's boy..."
I would probably self-destruct if I hooked up with one of my many loves from Johnny's too, although self-destruct implies it was done on purpose, so my headline would be more like 'Unknown girl dies from freak head implosion - totally not planned'. Oh, and even if he had nothing to do with it, '...Akanishi Jin to blame'.
Back to the story though. " " is translation and [ ] is a translation of someones comments.
"It's been discovered that 2 AKB girls, whose entire group is forbidden to have relationships, got their little paws on a Johnny's boy.
This shocking information came in from a reader."
[Last month in Roppongi, [the speaker] met T-kun. He was in a good mood bragging about knowing AKB's O and K, and making the girls skull tequila.]
"Johnny's, with the male idol world under their thumb, and AKB48 at the lead of the girls world.
Whether it's true or false, popular idol T-kun from group N likes to keep everything gossip completely under wraps." I'm going to start calling T-kun Mr T, because it's way cooler sounding, don't you think? Makes him sound badass.
"O is from AKB's team K and is extraodinarily popular, K is a popular idol from team A, known for loving their hometown. This is crazy news to AKB fans." The hookups, not that they are popular idols...Obviously. OR IS IT.
"Mr T was seen in a members only establishment close to Roppongi Hills."
[You can hear a lot of rumours about Mr T in Roppongi and Nishi-Azabu from the girls who work in the area, calling him 'gross' and stuff, but when I met him and saw for myself, he was just that.]
"Mr T has a bad reputation in those neighbourhoods, and the reason is decidedly...bragging! Girls try to act bored, but most of the talk remains him bragging and sometimes whether it's true or not, he'll talk about the inside gutter stories of the entertainment world...
And out of those frequently occuring bragging sessions, came the one story about him knowing the two from AKB. He was in such a good mood he just accidentally let his mouth slip, it wasn't that he was in a members only place and got careless, although this happens a lot too."
"Mr T is a performer [entertainer/idol]." HOLY SHIT, WAIT WHAT? That just came out of nowhere! I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT ANYMORE. /sarcasm.
"Not only that, but he's from Johnny's. Isn't he being a little on the naive side? ...Or so we thought, but it seems like the moment after he blurted his brag story, he woke up to his idol-self."
[He's pretty good friends with the owner of that place, seems they go out drinking and wandering around together alot. In the end there were no sneaky pictures or voice recordings, he and the owner checked the mobiles of all the girls who were in the place.] - Paranoia paranoia everybody's comin to get meeeee~
"In fear of a scandal-" and rightly so apparently, but it didn't do him much good, "he checked that none of the girls that were there at the time had taken photos or recorded him. Not only that, but it was a huge annoyance for the girls who were checked.
In this neighbourhood too, he does things to cause people to call him disgusting [/weird]?!"
"In anycase, thanks to his rigorous checking there are no photos and no recordings - they were completely 'shutout'. If only he hadn't had his friend there... but if anything was found it would have been deleted.
...BUT! You can't erase a persons memory." How foreboding, gives me the chills... dun dun DUN! AND EYEWITNESS REPORTS SHALL PREVAIL!
"If you want to protect yourself from gossip leaks, try bragging in moderation." Bitch.
This is the police, put the phone down and step away. I will praying-mantis you.
Source: Tantei File
These articles kind of piss me off, the titles are always so misleading. Should have been "Paranoid idol polices phone usage at bar' or something. Still I LOL'd, checking girls phones. That would have been the point where I thought 'I should totally record this and sell it to Friday'.
Do not repost