Must i never have what i want...no. I always have what i want. It's what i have that becomes no longer wanted. I never let myself be myself. I restrict myself from satisfaction. Never true. My truth to me is a lie, it is only what i tell myself to remain, which is lie in itself. I want to be satisfied, i want to not change my reality to create ( Read more... )

School. It is beginning to feel so heavy. Not the same as it was last year, but i guess it never is. You think so clearly up to the second you act, and then, your thoughts leave you with nothing to support yourself. The floor no longer under your feet. Even though your thoughts never make it to your actions, the truth is still told, but rarely ( Read more... )

So i saw Predator VS Alien last night. Yeah, it was not so great. The special effects were pretty cool but everything else was kinda blah. I enjoyed hanging with Lenny and Brendon though. Man, so summer is over. It hasn't really hit me yet and it probably won't until the third week of school. I can hardly remember anything i did, but i made a few ( Read more... )

I feel so alone. The whole get-together thing didn't happen. Didn't think it would. After work i got to hang out with Lindsey. I was fun. Got to see Brendon's hot new ride. Then Lindsey, Kristi, and some other guy who's name i can not remember though i do know it starts with a D. I think it is something like Dan, Dave, or Dane. I am trying to think ( Read more... )

Oh yeah, did anyone realize that today was Friday...and this was the 13th...so that must mean...................................today was Friday the thirteenth. So i'll go back to my hole now.

I am so alone. My mother took off for Chicago this morning. I found that my transmission will cause 1300 or so to fix. I have to work tomorrow. Work is not so fun, though today it went quite fast. I have a robotics car wash to go to tomorrow, but i think i would rather paint the mini-bar. I still have not idea how i am getting to work tomorrow. But ( Read more... )

Oh man. So i just got back from the Finch concert and it was so rockin'. I had so much fun. I was afraid Lindsey was going to miss out but soon found that she, as well as i, bought early tickets. i was glad that she made it. So yeah, i was just standing in the crowd, just minding my own business and then the guy in front on me pushed me back and i ( Read more... )

So i woke up the other day to my mom freaking out because i had forgotten about summer strings. At first, i was a bit confused, but then i remembered that they started the second of August so i jump out of bed and ran for the shower. Somehow, i was able to get to the school 15 minutes early. After that i was lucky enough to get a ride home from ( Read more... )

I am so bored. I feels so weird not having brian around, but i guess he will not be staying much anymore once school starts. I have to mow the grass today. I really don't want to, but its ok. I get to see lindsey. Still not sure what we are going to do. Maybe we could watch Fight Club. I liked that movie and i have not seen it in some time. No ( Read more... )

Woke up not long ago, thinking that Brian was at my house. He left early this morning. I guess he did not sleep at all according to my mother. He seemed somewhat troubled by something. Hope it was not i. But i am sure to talk to him in the near future. Many things to do today. My bathroom was flooded when some drain clogged up and so now i have to ( Read more... )