we are in harrisburg, pa. so far we have camped in the woods, a warehouse parking lot and behind a gas station. in reading we each mailed about half of the stuff we brought with us to friends to cut down on the weight. tomorrow we hit the mountains.

cause the longer it goes on, the less it hurts. and that is the most frightening sentence i/ve typed/read all year.

so, what is it, then? cause what it is is what it is stopped sufficing a long time ago. why the pushaway, the shelter, the no? no longer content with spinning a pretty, i think it/s high time for an actual. or maybe that/s just another no? yeah, i hear ya. can/t square the circle, can/t square the circle. sometimes things just don/t fit, right?

i still believe in us. i don/t know how to not.
please. don/t. stop.

to everyone i love: please spend tonight with the people or person that makes you happy. it/s been a hell of a year for everyone i can think of, and from where i/m sitting: we deserve the happy. we/ve earned it.

( Read more... )

4 bars later, last cigarette burning out, and i/m still getting the same message via the sound system. i guess mother mary still does have some words of wisdom for us after all, huh? i guess we all need reminding sometimes.

really, the whole thing is i can/t believe the audacity of the assumptions that i assume you made. and, yeah, sure, i/ve been burned, and most definitely played, but i learned damn early on that thinking like a hammer means checking yourself right and proper before striking so don/t even try to try that one on this one. truth is: i wasn/t told the ( Read more... )

odd. i feel guilty for not being guilty about not being a victim. except for that, on both levels just mentioned, i don/t. i know that i/m supposed to say i do, but i don/t. i/m sorry, but i/m okay.

don/t you just fucking hate that? the obligatory lies that this fucking language demands? especially when you catch yourself doing it? let/s try that ( Read more... )

fucking drowning in this god damn process. should be impossible, as evolution/s seen fit to gift me with the gills, but still: it is ( Read more... )

god fucking dammit, people. what is this obsession with tact.propriety.meekness? how can there be any communication without communication? fucking say it. grab the shoulders, look in the eyes and scream your heart until... until they at least hear, if not understand. FUCK.