it's a wonder i get out of bed anymore. there is nothing exciting about graduating, at least for me. everyone at emory is going on to do great, ambitious things. my mom is jumping down my throat about what we are going to do about insurance and jobs. my best friend and boyfriend is moving to maryland on monday. i hate my school more and more every ( Read more... )

i could go on the longest rant imaginable. i keep thinking back to high school and diary-x though. because i am shy and like to avoid conflict i never tell certain people how i feel. i just silently and slowly let the relationship deteriorate. i suppose i do that because once someone offends me that deeply and i get to see his or her true colors, ( Read more... )

You are the sort of person that needs a peaceful environment. You seek release from stress and freedom from conflicts and disagreements, of which you seem to have had more than your fair share. But you are taking pains to control the situation by proceeding cautiously and you are right in doing so as you are a very sensitive person ( Read more... )

well, i have therapy today. it's going to be another "i wish you had three hours because i could honestly talk for that amount of time."

i have to write a paper. read 3 novels. bathe. get coffee with the girls.

i didn't do any of this last night because i made the mistake of watching the oscars. james mcavoy, i would be honored to have your

i already knew i would get the response i did so i put off telling her until today. i told my mom i got the final interview for teach for america, and she gave me a thousand and one reasons why she would be disappointed if i did it. listed friends who already got accepted. told me it was stupid. told me it wasn't prestigious. shall i go on ( Read more... )

last night my mom calls me in a rage calling me the family traitor, saying i told my dad all the shit caitlin has been doing so he sent her a nasty email and she is now moving out of my mom's house because of it. it was a mess. everyone in the room could hear them on the phone screaming. i finally told her i didn't want to be involved. i wish there ( Read more... )

so last night was a lot of fun. ben and i came to some kind of terms, i think. but last night a bunch of people came over and we had a bunch of beer and we played pong and civil war all night and then most people left and it was just me, shaye, tommy, jc, jason, jarryd, andre, and caroline. so we played circle of death and it went on forever. flip ( Read more... )

i feel like crying today. this moving on process is up and down. my dad emailed me and asked if ben and i wanted to go on a trip to mexico for my graduation so i emailed him back and said we are no longer together and the only people i really have to go on trips with are caitlin and shaye so maybe cash would work better since he doesn't think i'm ( Read more... )

tonight when i got home i laid on my bed for a long time and looked out the window with my dog. i was thinking about the future and how afraid of it i am. it seemed so vast and empty as i lay there. that must be why we make plans, to give ourselves directions. different routes, different destinations. then i went on the porch and felt secure. no ( Read more... )

this whole being single thing has really worked out for me. not only did he occupy all of my time but also all of my thoughts when we were apart. and not in a good way, considering how much we fought. i was always worrying about us and could never focus on anything, like my homework, my future plans, or my friends here at emory. i have been totally ( Read more... )