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Five Hours and So Much Devastation and Confusion
Five hours is all it took for me to really, really like someone last night. To make me forget about every problem I have and every failure I've lived ( Read more... ) -
Kill Me...
...I miss you so much. After 5+ years, all day, every day...so much.
I know after this long this will last a lifetime.
I will be depressed for a lifetime...
...kill me. -
Did She???
She just told me she was the "other woman" once before and couldn't do it again. Did she just admit to me that she would have something more to do with me if I weren't married? Or is that wishful thinking? I'm thinking if we go out again and I get drunk enough I may be brave enough to approach this issue. If this isn't my mind wishing for some ( Read more... ) -
Yeah...Her
I went to lunch with her today. She smelled so good. We talked she's funny, interesting. She's going through some shit and I felt really bad and sorry to hear it. She made a remark about something on the way back into work that opened the door for me to admit something. I told her when I began working here (before I was even engaged) I wanted to ( Read more... ) -
What Becomes of These Thoughts?
So in moving on from my previous hang up, one thing that still remains is that I am not happy in my marriage. There recently came a point where there was a significant argument between the two of us and was going to initiate a separation that coming week. Unfortunately, a death occurred a few days later on her side and I had to be there for her. I ( Read more... ) -
I'm A Big Fuck Up
I fucked up. I fucked up my life big time. Made the worst fucking decisions and created the worst fucking outcomes. I had it so good years ago. Can't believe I fucked it up. Now look where I am. I could just fucking cry. I know she's happy now. More happier than she probably ever was with me. I created that and made it happen so for them I didn't ( Read more... ) -
Label Me
Nothing has changed, except my brain races more and I feel worse as time goes on. I still wish things were how they were years ago.
And I also miss Joy...more so than I think I realize...and I already realize I miss her a lot. Wish I could just go back about 8 years... -
I Want...
...out. -
After A Break, It's Time To Write
It has been nearly 2 years since I have posted an entry in here. I see, more than likely, nearly every one has abandoned LJ for MySpace or Facebook. Who knows. I know MySpace completely took over for me and that is where I've been hiding. I don't post entries or "blogs" like I used to here...it just isn't the same. That's why I have return ( Read more... ) -
What the Fuck?!?
What the fuck is wrong with me? Seriously?!? I have got to be fucking up somewhere that this type of shit can always happen to me.
I swear I should just fucking kill myself and spare it all...