it will be the first week of july when my sears card will be paid off, but my visa still won't be down to where it was before my car repairs. i'm a little discouraged. but i will pay off credit card debt. one way or another.

i learned i really do like exploring and taking new paths and seeing new things. with the security and comfort of having those i care about around, i feel like nothing can hurt me and even if something were to happen, god forbid, i won't be plagued with the fear of venturing into the unknown. ok, it wasn't really that hardcore, but i could have ( Read more... )

poor nick has to drive to and from kzoo today for work. way too much driving for one day, and here i am, went to bed at 10 and slept in till 11:30. i wanted to clean and wash my car, mow the front lawn, do dishes, run, cook dinner and a bazillion other things but its already 12:30 and in still need to get dressed! i havent had a lounging day in a ( Read more... )

gosh, i just read some new blog posts from a few of my old acquaintances and friends and its funny how comforting it is knowing im not alone in not knowing what i want out of life anymore. everything is perfect and i should be happy and its all falling into place and i now im forced to face the ultimate question of "is this what i really want?" it ( Read more... )

i had a good idea for a story to write for my school's writing contest, and its a story that is very real to me but would take me to a bad place in order to get the emotion across in words. most of my work is products of inner turmoil or things i observed people i care about go through. i write what i see and i write what i feel. i sat down now to ( Read more... )

god the one good things about sadness and emotional shit is that my stomach doesnt allow me to eat so i lost some weight these past five days. and finally, here i am eating a salad and my tummy no longer hurts. half a pack of cigarettes later and being with people who are more family to me then my own, brought me out of my funk, and made me ( Read more... )

there is nothing like reading your boyfriend's old journals, especially when you feel you have drifted and never seem to know whats going on in his head because i of course have so much going on up here. i just spent the last hour reading his journal back from when he and alison broke up, him hanging with kristina and how he first came into my life ( Read more... )

today i had a customer who must have been the blondest of them all. she asked me if crickets need oxygen. i said yes. she said since they were in a bag they may not need oxygen. i told her we put oxygen in the bag and that all living things need oxygen. DUMB FUCK ( Read more... )

which is more important?

being happy? or being a good person?
how do you know you will be happy? &
how do you know if you are a good person?

I am up finishing my homework, or rather desperately wishing for someone to talk to. I guess loneliness is a common quality all people share regardless if they have loved ones in their life or not. I seem to get very sentimental and thoughtful as the hours of the night pass. I couldn't sleep at all last nite, tossing and turning. yet im not at all ( Read more... )