I hate thinking about college and I hate thinking about next year and I hate thinking about my dad and I hate thinking about my body and I hate thinking about myself and I hate thinking about her and I hate thinking about him and I hate thinking about the way he makes me feel and I hate thinking about you.

It's been awhile since I could
Look at ( Read more... )

I feel like your eye is always on me, penetrating into my thoughts with long strides and perfect posture, a thousand nooses slung over your arm and ready to be hung from the gallows of my mind. But when you perch my only possessions upon their rickety pedestals, promise me you won’t let the heavy rope hide the silver chain already dangling around ( Read more... )

Sometimes, I feel like I’m withering away.

But then I look in the mirror and see every faulty line on my body as proof that I’m still here physically.

Mentally, I can’t be too far from my own outstretched hand.

Maybe I’ll go find myself and we’ll walk hand in hand, a sickening embodiment soiling a transparent dream.

Well, if you told ( Read more... )

Friday was my 16th birthday.

Balloons. Cards. Brownies. Cookie Dough. Signs. Slippers. Notes. Hugs. Kisses. Disneyland.

-my birthday note from Lerner-

Kasten, the love of my life, Miller,

Wow, what to say… first off I want you to understand you’re probably the hottest girl in the world. I must say, my favorite memory this year was meeting you… ( Read more... )

“I’m jealous that your heart belongs to him.”

-Lerner

And the chair just sits there.

Her milky skin drapes over the hard wood, poised with perfect posture born from her innate candor. Thick woven rags swathe around her body, walnut drags of humanity hugging tight to her ivory flesh, itching her frail cream sanity. Terra cotta red, dust from rows and rows of the buried ancients, once brushed onto her ( Read more... )

my sonnet for English

Ebony Euphoria

Blue satin, dawned with water colored lace;

Sweet pink, cast from the fleshy inside crier;

Hearts woven, wed with threads of new desire.

Faint webs of sunlight, lined in sequins, grace

A new beginning, spun from lovers’ chase.

Young seams of cream, like innocent skinned liars,

A flight ( Read more... )

a conversation betwixt and between

me and the great Fleetwood Mac

Now I know I can’t lose

As long as you follow

Yes, I can live today

If you give me tomorrow

---

I’ve never feared happiness before, but suddenly I am. Too much doubt is shadowing over my heart, the shadows darkened into a charcoal gray by clouds of confusion. The sun dips ( Read more... )

Today was wonderful. It’s incredible how happy I can be just from letting things be.  I let the wind blow, I let the sun shine, I let life live. It was beautiful to let myself be happy. I forgot abut everything and let the things that truly matter be the dawning sun in my powder sky. Such simple smiles, moments lasting lifetimes between our eyes, ( Read more... )

I can’t help but feel I’ll be forgotten once another pretty face comes along.

My mind is like a thousand flitting butterflies, their rapid wings flying from flowers of analysis to buds of conclusions, n then back into gardens of confusion. And all the while, the flowers are dying.

I’m thinking so much that my mind has gone blank.

"If ( Read more... )