i'm back at school. i miss meredith so much...it's no fun without her. i think that she's going to love london though. sucks that she won't be here for her 21st birthday though. oh well. let's see...so living alone is interesting. and on monday and wednesday i don't have class until 6pm. on friday i don't have any classes. and tuesday and thursday ( Read more... )

oh it feels so good to be home. i'm working a little bit at the salon and babysitting, but i have a really bad cough...so i've been in bed for a while. i go out at night with my friends...and then i lose my voice. i can't believe i'm living by myself next semester. i am going to miss meredith so much. and scott is going to gone for like a year and ( Read more... )

i really love volunteering. i wish i could do it for a living...but that would not work out. because even if i was employed by a nonprofit organization, i would still need something else. because i probably need money? i dunno. on friday there was the dance for special people with special needs--i think that's what they called it. it was sponsored ( Read more... )

and you eventually get to the point where you just know that it isn't working. because if it was meant to be, wouldn't it be easier? mike christy told me tonight that if it isn't working, if you tried everything you can, sometimes you just look at the person you love with all your heart, and say we have grown to almost hate each other because we ( Read more... )

can't wait to go home for christmas, well first thanksgiving. i love home. i love seeing my family, driving around smithtown, seeing my friends, scott, my dog, eeh. yay. anyway, it was so beautiful out today. i ran all around fredericksburg, and it made me feel good to just be outside in the sun. i almost always just exercise in the gym, but ( Read more... )

so three people i know have recently gotten engaged...three people who are about the same age as me. wowowow. good for them, and i wish them the best, honestly--but i am not getting married for a real long time. how scary. just today i realized the urgency in the fact that i need to do things that i won't be able to do when i'm older. i can't think ( Read more... )

something i never do, that i need to start doing, is focusing on what i need to become a better person for myself...not for other people. sometimes i look at what i do on a day-to-day basis, and i realize that it's all about others. if it isn't for them, it's about how they will judge what i am doing. i want to understand who i am and love myself, ( Read more... )

if i could eliminate anything, i'd eliminate the loss that comes from losing people. sure, people need to die--that's life. but everybody has somebody who will feel it if they do...so how can people die and this pain and void is felt...and that is ok? people go on? it's amazing the agony a human being can experience and inhale, while never giving ( Read more... )

high school was awesome. sometimes i wonder if that's just my memory that says so, serving it to me with a candy coating, or if it really was as amazing as my mind says. it would be cool if i could figure that out, and maybe that would help me to realize that right now isn't so bad...that college will one day be a beautiful memory of a time filled ( Read more... )

so i'm starting to enjoy classes at least, which is good. i'm still exhausted, because i think it's ok to fit the gym in at 9am three days a week, and then go saturday and sunday...and then be constantly exhausted because i get no sleep...but if i don't go to the gym i get all not happy with myself/lazy feeling. in reality though, running sort of ( Read more... )