talked to steven today. made my eyes water. i miss him. my rock, since forever. i'll never have to question whose side he's on. and that is amazing ( Read more... )

so...i had a super rough night last night/this morning. i get those killer fucking migraines, you know? well, last nights was like, super great. i had already gotten up once to take a bunch of pills and sit in the bathtub around 6. i couldn't handle anymore by around 9 this morning. i hadn't slept yet. i mean, i don't think so, it was a blur of ( Read more... )

so, i think i might be becoming friends with a long time...most hated person ever, of mine. it's weird. i've harbored such bad feelings about him for so long that now christian says i shouldn't be friendly, he says it's hurt me for too long to just let it go, but i think it's hurt me for so long i just NEED to let it go. and...i don't know. it's ( Read more... )

i just spent the last...while...drawing a woman. it's not all that good...but she is beautiful. i just wish i could draw her accordingly. i can see her, but my hands just...don't grasp the concept. shoulders - breasts - waist - hips - thighs. curves. just curves. but so much more. the face isn't important, (not that it ever really is) not yet. i ( Read more... )

i'm sick. i always feel like shit. my knees are acting up something horrible, my head always hurts, all my joints are swollen, everything is sucky. the apartment is coming along nicely. i wish someone would come and visit, though. it's be nice to have someone to hang out with. there is way too much swirling around in my head to type anymore right ( Read more... )

i just thought i'd let everyone know that tonight, i spent an evening in the same room as BILLY CORGAN. that's right, i ocked out with billy corgan tonight, AND jimmy chamberlin came out for a song. it was bad ass man. seriously.

**no more promise no more sorrow**

so, of all the people in the universe, and all the millions of fucking people in this city, i ran into my most hated person on the planet down town the yesterday. how fucked up is that? i feel like a piece of my new life has been invaded.

**no more promise no more sorrow**

so i feel like shit. my head hurts my eyes hurt my tummy hurts...everything hurts. but, i did get christian to dye my hair purple today. that's cool. nothing really going on. i'm about to make a grilled cheese and ham sandwich, which is going to be exceptional. i guess that's about all. later everybody.

**no more promise no more sorrow**

i just pulled 2 nine inch cake pans out of the oven and the apartment smells great. even though his birthday was yesterday, he gets his birthday cake today because he hadn't finished the early birthday cake i made and 2 don't fit very well in the refrigerator. he's still asleep. hopefully they will be cooled so i can frost and decorate them before ( Read more... )

today is christians birthday! everyone go to weird_inside 's journal and tell him happy 20th!! now! even if you don't read this today, late is better than never.

my dad called this morning to see how i'm doing. i've been pretty sucky lately. my joints hurt. a lot. like, i don't like walking. or standing. or sitting. because every position except lying down ( Read more... )