Particles of Light, Chapter 16: Particles of Light

[15lbpurebunny]

Title: Chapter 16 - Particles of Light
Rating: M
Disclaimer: Not mine, no harm intended
Spoilers: As always, light spoilers of Season 1 might appear

A/N: This is another LONG chapter, so bear with me. Thanks for reading.

Comments

[grimorie]

Now see? You can write scenes like these. Another good chapter! And the voices you have for them are so *them*. I love that Dani says 'Nope' because she *would*.

I love this line: And that’s when she knows. Knows he’s going to hold her accountable for this, to make her explain it to him with her body, to show him why.

And the end was just the right end. I mean, chapter wise! Because you can't end there!

[adlervan]

agreed agreed agreed.

[15lbpurebunny]

Heh heh. Thanks! I seriously think I'd still be struggling, tearing my hair out with that goddamn flash forward, so thanks for helping me out.

[adlervan]

no problemo. it came out so so so good! and it's all you, suga'!

Loved this chapter

[citosol]

I have to admit it. It is amazing, but was difficult for me to understand. Above all the flash-forward part. I'm not sure I understood it correctly: I don't think it is going well for Charlie, isn't it? I mean Dani is acting like she usually acts with men: take and go. Or not? Or is Charlie taking control of the whole situation? Is he teaching her how she could let herself go?

I'm sorry for those questions, but I would like to understand not only the words, but even their meaning in the fic contest, I want to fully taste your beautiful story!

btw: you chose a fantastic incipit, I LOVED it! I can totally hear Charlie telling Dani a thing like that! *_*

I can't wait to see how this story will go on...

Re: Loved this chapter

[15lbpurebunny]

Sorry if it got confusing! Please don't ever feel badly about asking a question

Re: Loved this chapter

[citosol]

Very structured!
I like it! A lot! ^__^ And I don't think it gets confusing, I think is my fault, or better, my not good english fault, that damped me!

Thank you very much for your explanations, they were very useful!

hmmm...ok, I understand her worries, but at the very end she surrendered to his wishes, and that's interesting...(*__*)

(god, I can't wait...)

Re: Loved this chapter

[15lbpurebunny]

lol, well how she gets there with him is a whole different story. le'ts just say she's got her own agenda....

does that pique your interest?

Sory about the lost in translation!

[omnie]

I finally caught up with this! And, so good, all the way through.

I'm amused at how you write Charlie-speak. He totally talks like that.

[15lbpurebunny]

Hey, long time no see! Thanks for continuing to read!

:-)

I'm happy to hear you say that about Charlie-speak. I love writin' the Charlie lines. He's just so damn cute.

Thank you so much!