Comments | 16_going_on_60: i have to submit this to columbia: GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS

16_going_on_60

i have to submit this to columbia: GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS

Mar 16, 2005 20:30

it's terza rima (iambic pentameter, stanzas of three lines that unfortunately have to rhyme) and inspired by I'm Wide Awake It's Morning ( Read more... )

Comments 11

anonymous March 17 2005, 04:49:07 UTC

DIRTY, but perfect

16_going_on_60 March 17 2005, 04:57:25 UTC

you = made my day

however, i do really want suggestions. and just to satisfy my own curiosity, who is this?

anonymous March 17 2005, 05:04:22 UTC

trees, flower skin, a sea of red and rash.....
you are a very dirty boy, matt shields

good, though

16_going_on_60 March 17 2005, 05:08:13 UTC

anonymous perverts: 2
suggestions: 0

suggestions, please. willy and josh, im looking in your direction

(The comment has been removed)

thanks 16_going_on_60 March 17 2005, 05:30:21 UTC

and just for the record it' really supposed to be about how everything can be bad if you choose to look at it that way. if it took a couple of STDs and vaginas to get this point across, so be it.

interested_ears March 17 2005, 05:59:46 UTC

i really like it. but why did you put "lye"?

16_going_on_60 March 17 2005, 06:04:15 UTC

learning disabilities, that's why. any suggestions?

njsterling March 17 2005, 06:46:44 UTC

wow matt, that is REALLY good. you should submit it to a poetry contest or something. i especially like the veal part.