Drabbles
Here's nice!Crowley for iateaburgerrrrr and ladyknight30.
Aziraphale and Crowley were ordering a couple glasses of wine before a meal at the Ritz, when Crowley made the mistake of insulting the waiter.1 Now, waiters at the Ritz are known for their "holier than thou" attitude, but this one was particularly nasty.
1It was something about his mother in a compromising position; demons are responsible for "your mom" jokes, after all.
When their wine arrived, half of it was promptly spilled onto Crowley's new suit, as the waiter said in a frosty tone "Oh, dear. I'm so sorry, sir."
As Crowley blessed and dabbed at the blossoming stains with his napkin (vowing to wish away the stains once they had left the building), Aziraphale looked on with slight disapproval for both parties involved.
"That, my dear," he said sternly, "is what happens when you insult people."
---
The next day, Crowley was helping an elderly lady across the street while telling her about technology and how useful it made things.2 When he ran into Aziraphale on the other side of the road, he claimed it was his duty as a former Boy Scout, managing to keep a straight face.
2He neglected to tell her how utterly annoying it was when technology failed, of course.
The angel raised an eyebrow. "For some reason, I don't think I should believe you, you old serpent." He was surprised when the first purse hit to the arm happened.
"Why! I don't believe the gall of you, sir! This young man was nice enough to help me across the street, so don't go picking on him," the old lady lectured, emphasizing her words with hits of the purse. She walked -- well, tottered -- away angrily, leaving a bewildered and rather frazzled Aziraphale behind.
"That, my dear," Crowley affected a pompous tone, smirking, "is what happens when you insult people."
And ontheinternet!Crowley for truant_horatio.
Crowley hit "F5" and refreshed the page, pleased to see that the reviews were pouring in. His first venture into the world of fanfiction was a decidedly successful one, especially since (and probably because) it was fanfiction.net.
"Gabrielle Crowley and the Apocalypse" was a hit, receiving such comments as:
"omg this is soooooo awesome!!!~ ^___^ rite more plz?!"
and
"i luv gabrlliele she is so cool i wish taht i culd be exactly liek her oh yah and crowley is hott"
He especially liked that one.
Proudly showing Aziraphale the results of his experiment, he received a wince. "Those comments are rather poorly-written, aren't they? -- not to mention the actual story."
"Why, angel," Crowley said, mock-insulted, "if I wrote it at a higher level, barely anybody on that site would have been able to read it."
"Rubbish. I have more faith in humanity than that."
"I don't."
After that, talk went onto different subjects, but later that night found Aziraphale registering for an account at ff.net. Within a few days, a story titled "The True Events of the Apocalypse" appeared on the site; Good Omens fanfiction written from the perspective of Aziraphale.
Later that day, Aziraphale checked his reviews:
"............................ what the hell? O___o"
"omg eww this is so ooc for azirpaleh. don't quit ur day job lol"
"why did he meet every single author in history????!!?!??!! that was borring!!!!!!!!! i want 2 read more abt crowleyu!!!!!!!!!!11"
And the crowning glory: "u suck"
Crowley found the angel sipping cocoa gloomily and glaring at the blank computer screen.
"If they wanted to insult me, they could have at least insulted me with proper grammar and spelling," was all he would say.
Aziraphale had sworn that from then on, he would delete all the reviews in his inbox, but he couldn't help feeling morbidly curious and clicking the e-mail the next morning. The first few were flames, much like he had read earlier, but just as he was about to delete the e-mail, he read the next review:
"This fic was absolutely riveting and well-written. The author obviously has a good grasp of Good Omens canon. It was a pleasure to read, and I hope you write more. (I especially liked the part when Crowley was described as a "charmingly handsome, though altogether quite annoying demon".)"
It was posted anonymously, and though the commenter would later deny it, Aziraphale knew exactly who it was from. He smiled.
Aziraphale and Crowley were ordering a couple glasses of wine before a meal at the Ritz, when Crowley made the mistake of insulting the waiter.1 Now, waiters at the Ritz are known for their "holier than thou" attitude, but this one was particularly nasty.
1It was something about his mother in a compromising position; demons are responsible for "your mom" jokes, after all.
When their wine arrived, half of it was promptly spilled onto Crowley's new suit, as the waiter said in a frosty tone "Oh, dear. I'm so sorry, sir."
As Crowley blessed and dabbed at the blossoming stains with his napkin (vowing to wish away the stains once they had left the building), Aziraphale looked on with slight disapproval for both parties involved.
"That, my dear," he said sternly, "is what happens when you insult people."
---
The next day, Crowley was helping an elderly lady across the street while telling her about technology and how useful it made things.2 When he ran into Aziraphale on the other side of the road, he claimed it was his duty as a former Boy Scout, managing to keep a straight face.
2He neglected to tell her how utterly annoying it was when technology failed, of course.
The angel raised an eyebrow. "For some reason, I don't think I should believe you, you old serpent." He was surprised when the first purse hit to the arm happened.
"Why! I don't believe the gall of you, sir! This young man was nice enough to help me across the street, so don't go picking on him," the old lady lectured, emphasizing her words with hits of the purse. She walked -- well, tottered -- away angrily, leaving a bewildered and rather frazzled Aziraphale behind.
"That, my dear," Crowley affected a pompous tone, smirking, "is what happens when you insult people."
And ontheinternet!Crowley for truant_horatio.
Crowley hit "F5" and refreshed the page, pleased to see that the reviews were pouring in. His first venture into the world of fanfiction was a decidedly successful one, especially since (and probably because) it was fanfiction.net.
"Gabrielle Crowley and the Apocalypse" was a hit, receiving such comments as:
"omg this is soooooo awesome!!!~ ^___^ rite more plz?!"
and
"i luv gabrlliele she is so cool i wish taht i culd be exactly liek her oh yah and crowley is hott"
He especially liked that one.
Proudly showing Aziraphale the results of his experiment, he received a wince. "Those comments are rather poorly-written, aren't they? -- not to mention the actual story."
"Why, angel," Crowley said, mock-insulted, "if I wrote it at a higher level, barely anybody on that site would have been able to read it."
"Rubbish. I have more faith in humanity than that."
"I don't."
After that, talk went onto different subjects, but later that night found Aziraphale registering for an account at ff.net. Within a few days, a story titled "The True Events of the Apocalypse" appeared on the site; Good Omens fanfiction written from the perspective of Aziraphale.
Later that day, Aziraphale checked his reviews:
"............................ what the hell? O___o"
"omg eww this is so ooc for azirpaleh. don't quit ur day job lol"
"why did he meet every single author in history????!!?!??!! that was borring!!!!!!!!! i want 2 read more abt crowleyu!!!!!!!!!!11"
And the crowning glory: "u suck"
Crowley found the angel sipping cocoa gloomily and glaring at the blank computer screen.
"If they wanted to insult me, they could have at least insulted me with proper grammar and spelling," was all he would say.
Aziraphale had sworn that from then on, he would delete all the reviews in his inbox, but he couldn't help feeling morbidly curious and clicking the e-mail the next morning. The first few were flames, much like he had read earlier, but just as he was about to delete the e-mail, he read the next review:
"This fic was absolutely riveting and well-written. The author obviously has a good grasp of Good Omens canon. It was a pleasure to read, and I hope you write more. (I especially liked the part when Crowley was described as a "charmingly handsome, though altogether quite annoying demon".)"
It was posted anonymously, and though the commenter would later deny it, Aziraphale knew exactly who it was from. He smiled.