Case #9: Video

[19centconstable]

[George is holding his communicator in one hand and filming himself as he waves cheerfully. He turns the camera briefly to show a group of aliens sat at a small table amidst what looks like a futuristic street fair who are waving cheerfully back. They are about nine feet tall, and hairy, with sharp talons on their fingers. They are wearing

Comments

[19centconstable]

Mormons? Oh no, they aren't at all. They're just terribly polite about it. Which is surprising if you think about it; they are Americans.

[19centconstable]

Oh, yes it's quite possible they are. I only spoke to them for a bit over an hour. That's not quite long enough to know everything about a person, and they really were pleasant.

Have you ever heard of this..."Dianetics"?

[19centconstable]

In a way, certainly! Much of it went over my head, as I've said, but I was just pleased to get to speak to Martians at all, really, so I didn't mind.

[19centconstable]

Yes, exactly!

You know, it's funny: I've always pictured Martians as more...scaly-er.

Text.

[ifightfor]

[...User religion. This is pretty crazy stuff. RINZLER WILL TRY TO TAKE ON THE SMALLEST BITE:]

Define "Mormons".

[19centconstable]

Mormons are a group of Americans who have some funny sorts of ideas about Jesus.

[ifightfor]

[Oops. ATTEMPT TO LIMIT THE DAMAGE: FAILED.]

Define "Jesus".

[19centconstable]

Jesus was the son of God, who died for our sins.

[video]

[19centconstable]

Well they mayn't have been, I suppose. They never said they were, which Mormons usually do. But I thought Space Mormons might do things differently.

And they do usually give one the Mormon book, not...

[George holds up a copy of Dianetics.]

[video]

[19centconstable]

[George glances down at the book.]

Hubbard: indeed. What do you think it's about, then?

[worstsongever]

Space Mormons. I can't wait to go home with that story.

[19centconstable]

I don't suspect it would be suprising: they do get around.

This book is very strange, though. I don't think there's anything about Jesus or Dionysus in it at all. And it has instructions.

[worstsongever]

...Instructions for what?

[19centconstable]

Apparently you're meant to read it straight through, as well as understand it.

...I wasn't aware you could read something any other way.