Flash Fiction #21

[1_rhiannon_1]

Title: Flash Fiction #21
Fandom: The Walking Dead
Word Count: 543
Characters: Carl Grimes, Lori Grimes, Rick Grimes
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the Grimes family, I just like to take them out and play with them from time to time. This is unbeta’d and unedited - all mistakes are my own. If you see anything that needs correction, please

Comments

[luveskane]

Awww Carls happiness over seeing his dad brought a huge smile to my face :D major love!!

[1_rhiannon_1]

Thanks babe! ♥ I feel about this one kinda like I did about last night's too - something isn't quite there that should be. *grumbles* I just don't know what it is.

[luveskane]

Awww thats a drag babe. I think its pretty much perfection *smooshes*

[1_rhiannon_1]

*smooshes you back* Maybe I'm just being too hard on myself again. Maybe I need some sleep, lol! I'm soooo tired!

[synnerxx]

I liked this. I think you captured the emotions very well here, especially for Carl. :D

One little piece of concrit: You switched tenses from the first to the second paragraph and then back again from the second to the third paragraph.

Other than that, it was really good.

[1_rhiannon_1]

Thanks babe! <3

Oh crap, I did do that, didn't I? Son of a bitch :S *runs off to fix it*

[synnerxx]

<3 Welcome.

No worries. I've done it too before. XD

[1_rhiannon_1]

OK, I think I got it all - does it make more sense now?

Thanks for catching that for me - I stopped between the first and second and the second and third to work on dinner and goof off a bit *g* I need to not do that, LOL!

[kiora1]

I really like the story from Carl's pov, he needs love too :)

[1_rhiannon_1]

Thank you! <3 I need to write Carl more often - he's a badass little guy!