I think the time has come to quit smoking.  I no longer want to smoke, or be a smoker.  I miss being able to smell things and being relaxed.  I hate coughing all the time.  Not to mention that I live in a city where cigarettes cost seven dollars a pack.  I don't think the physical withdrawals are going to be a big deal, I think I can deal with that ( Read more... )

You know the Bible 95%!

Wow! You are awesome! You are a true Biblical scholar, not just a hearer but a personal reader! The books, the characters, the events, the verses - you know it all! You are fantastic!

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In a prior entry, I mentioned that my pubic hair would be greeting the New Year in an unusual fashion. Sadly, that did not materialize. For those who did not read that entry, a friend of mine, Ruth, a Jewish, Lithuanian-American dominatrix-for-hire wanted to celebrate New Year's Eve with chest hair, but since she lacks the hormones necessary for ( Read more... )

My pubic hair will be traveling into the New Year glued onto the chest of a Jewish hooker named Ruth.

I had my first day back at work today, at best, it was horrible. Business was slow, and my manager went ballistic on be because I didn't say "excuse me" before speaking to him. I went home after my shift, took a nap, woke up crabby and homesick ( Read more... )

My father thinks the real reason why I got suspended is because my boss is Lebanese and I look Jewish.

My job suspended me for a week because the general manager heard me say the f-word. Kind of petty, aye? I feel like I've just gotten arrested for jay-walking. It wasn't even like I said it to a customer or anything. The context was, out of frustration, said to the iced tea dispenser. He, the manager, told me that he was planning on firing me ( Read more... )

About a week ago, my mother was in town, and, upon her leaving, she seemed to have forgotten a number of personal items at my apartment, one of which was a pair of pajama pants. A couple nights later, a friend stopped by my apartment. Nothing was out of the ordinary until I glanced over my shoulder to catch him, with my mother's pants in hand, ( Read more... )

Since I'm in the midst of redecorating my apartment, and decided that having curtains would be a whole lot nicer than the standard mini-blinds. And, since I'm a huge cheap-ass, I thought it would be a good idea to make the curtains myself. So, today I bought some curtain rods, hooks and this fabulous sage-colored burlap, for only 99 cents a yard ( Read more... )

A friend called a couple nights ago, at about 1am. Her 19 year-old younger brother had a doctors appointment the next day to get some warts removed from his ass. That night he left the house, not telling anyone where he was going. His mother walked into his bedroom and found a gun case on his bed, the gun was gone ( Read more... )