fanfic!
Okay, you lot. This is my first attempt at writing smut. Know, however, that some parts of this are intended to be funny. Technically, it follows Sex Ed and Before the Deed, but you can read it without having read those first.
Warnings: Smut and humour. Smutty humour. Please don't read if you're underage.
Theory to Practice
Relena looked at Heero with something like trepidation. “You want us to talk about what?” she asked carefully.
“Whether or not we’re ready to have sex,” Heero replied without any particular inflection in his voice. His face was carefully blank, his posture relaxed. He could just as easily have said that they should talk about what to have for dinner.
Relena rubbed her forehead. “Why do we need to talk about that?” she asked, somehow both dreading and anticipating the answer.
“Doctor J said that I shouldn’t try to have sex with anyone without talking with them about it first.”
“Dread” had been the right reaction, then.
“What does Doctor J have to do with anything?” Relena asked against her better judgement. Really, why did she always have to follow through to the bottom of things...
“He told me about this when he explained what sex is. And then I talked to Wufei later, and he said...”
Relena interrupted him. “You talked to Wufei about this!?”
Heero blinked, finally showing a reaction other than “blank”. “Well, yeah. I needed advice, and he’s better than most alternatives.”
Relena considered that. Heero could have asked Duo, who’d never let either of them hear the end of it, or Quatre, who’d never be able to look her in the eye again afterwards. Or, she thought with a shudder, he could have asked her brother.
“I guess Wufei wasn’t such a bad choice, after all,” she muttered to herself before peering suspiciously at Heero. “What exactly did he say?”
“He said that I should detail the risks, and after that just let things progress naturally. I’ve been getting a lot of information, and a lot of it doesn’t fit with the rest.” Heero looked slightly frustrated. “I’m wondering if it’s even worth it.”
Relena, however, had finally come to realise that once she got through this conversation full of “DO NOT WANT”, she had a very real chance of actually having sex with Heero, which, to be honest, was something she rather thought she’d want to have. Now, she just had to play her cards right... “You don’t know until you’ve tried,” she said.
Heero nodded. “That’s true. Should we discuss the risks, then?”
Relena motioned for him to continue.
“First, there’s the risk of sexually transmittable diseases, although having never had sex before, I have never risked having anything transmitted to me, and should as such be clean. Can I assume it’s the same with you?”
Relena nodded. “It is.”
Heero continued: “Second, there’s the risk of impregnation, which I don’t think either of us are capable of dealing with right now. I have taken the liberty of obtaining several kinds of contraceptives which can be applied instantaneously should the situation where one needs them arise.”
“You sound like a textbook,” Relena observed.
Heero coughed. “I read some pamphlets. Thirdly, there’s the risk of my hurting you. I will take every measure to make sure that you are properly stretched and relaxed and lubricated before I enter you, but...” He hesitated.
“Well?” Relena prodded gently.
“I’m...fairly strong,” Heero said. He sounded nervous, all of a sudden. “I don’t want to hurt you in any way, but there’s the risk of my losing control when...” He looked away.
Relena reached out and touched his face gently. “I trust you,” she said, and Heero looked up to meet her eyes.
“You’ll tell me if I bring you pain, right?”
“I’ll tell, don’t worry. Was there anything else you wanted to discuss first?”
Heero shook his head. “No, that was it. Is there something you’re wondering?”
Relena thought about that for a moment, not so much to come up with something, but rather to consider whether or not to say what she was thinking. Finally, she said: “I’m...a bit unclear about how our relationship stands. Why do you want to have sex with me? Is it because you care about me? Or are you just horny and I’m available?”
Heero blinked. “It’s because I could never imagine having sex with anyone else, of course. You’re the only person I trust enough. And, well, I kind of thought that was part of being in an intimate relationship.” He looked confused. “Was I wrong?”
“It’s common, but not necessary,” Relena replied, trying to process what had sounded more than anything like Heero promising her monogamy. “Is this something you want, or something you think you should want?”
Heero reached out and cupped her face between his broad, calloused palms. “I never do things I don’t want to.” He leaned forward and kissed her.
They’d kissed before; small, fleeting kisses that never left either of them satisfied. This was different. Heero’s lips moved against Relena’s almost forcefully. Relena pressed back, threading her fingers through his thick hair and leaning her full weight against his body. Heero would never be a large man, but he was stronger than most people twice his size, and all of a sudden he broke free and stood, pulled her to her feet then picked her up like she weighed nothing. He carried her from the kitchen table where they had been talking into the lounge, where he deposited her on the wide couch before crawling over her and looking down at her from where he was leaning his weight on his hands.
Relena smiled at him and caressed his face, her other hand moving downwards...
Heero barely suppressed a yelp when she gave his butt a rough squeeze. He gave her a glare before moving back and began fiddling with the button and zipper on her skirt. It was Relena’s turn to yelp as he got the skirt off and her pantyhose and panties followed quickly. “Heero!” she protested, but Heero wasn’t listening.
“Stretching is necessary,” he muttered before shoving two fingers into her vaginal opening, only to let out a surprised “oof” as Relena kicked him in the chest.
“A little gentleness, perhaps?” she asked acerbically.
Heero sat back and considered. “Perhaps the couch isn’t wide enough for you to spread your legs properly.”
“Mister, that’s the least of your problems...hey, put me down!”
Heero, who had just lifted her up, put her back down on the couch and gave her a confused look. “I was just going to carry you to the bedroom.”
“Oh, this can’t be fixed with a simple relocation,” Relena muttered. Propriety warred with the need to be vulgar within her, and for once, vulgarity won. “You can’t just shove your hand up my twat like that!”
Heero looked taken aback. “I was just preparing you for penetration.”
“Well, it felt like you were re-enacting Amundsen and Scott’s race for the South Pole in my vagina.” Relena paused, and then relented in the face of his shamefacedness. “Look...it’s not a matter of getting there first, you know. We’ve got plenty of time. Have you never heard of foreplay?”
“No.”
That explained things. Relena was starting to wish that she could have seen where he got his information, and that she could have included some material of her own in there. How to put this...”Sometimes, getting there is just as fun as going there.”
Blank face.
“The roundabout way is sometimes the best one.”
Face full of confusion.
“You don’t have to head directly for the target. You really should deal with the surrounding situation first.”
That one got through. Heero started nodding in consideration, then more firmly. “Understood. What should I do first?”
Relena suddenly felt awkward. She had never done this with anything other than her own hands before, either. “Well, first off, I think we should both be naked,” she said, just to buy some time. Unfortunately, she was talking to Heero Yuy in mission mode. She barely had time to react before he had removed his clothing, and started moving towards the buttons on her blouse.
Relena batted his hands away and started unbuttoning her blouse herself. She kept staring at Heero’s suddenly nude form. In the dim light she could just make out a magnitude of small, pale scars, and she was overcome with a sudden desire to lick them.
“Here, lie back,” she said, indicating the couch. Heero looked confused, but did as she said, and Relena started moving over him, softly kissing his chest and abdomen. Heero drew in a sharp breath and reached out, drawing her soft hair between his fingers before raising the same hand to his mouth and biting his knuckle.
Relena looked at the hardening limb between Heero’s legs with something like trepidation. Was she really going to have that inside her body?
“Relena.” The sound of her name made her look up into Heero’s face. His eyes were gentle. “We don’t have to have vaginal penetrative intercourse today. We can just do things like this.”
The phrase “vaginal penetrative intercourse” where a normal man his age would have said “go all the way” broke the tension. Relena sat back on her haunches, trying to stifle the giggles that rose in her throat. Heero looked at her in confusion.
“What is it?” he asked.
Relena just smiled, then flopped down on top of him, cuddling her face into the crook of his neck. “You’re just too adorable some times.”
Heero sighed in something that wasn’t quite resignation - it sounded too contented for that, and wrapped his arms around her. “I like that,” he noted.
“Being called adorable?”
“No, the way you fit against me and the way your chest rubs against mine.”
Relena looked up. “Oh, really?” She pressed her lips against the side of his face in a brief kiss, shifted her position slightly and began to move slowly, rubbing her breasts against Heero’s chest. Heero gave a soft moan and moved one hand between them, cupping one breast. He moved the other hand downwards, until he was kneading her hip.
Relena kissed his Adam’s apple and moved one hand down, down, until she touched his penis. Heero bit back a strangled groan as she began to tentatively stroke.
“You can do that harder,” he bit out. Relena gave him a startled glance before complying. Heero moved his hand from her hip to her backside, lightly dragging his fingers along her buttcrack until they touched her outer lips. Abruptly, he sat up, and Relena tumbled back a little.
“My turn,” he said, before pulling her in against his body. Relena held on to his shoulders as he started playing with his fingers around her entrance. By pure chance, he touched a spot that made Relena shudder and nip at his shoulder. He pulled her back to look her in the eyes before returning his hands to where they had just been. Relena felt herself growing damp.
“Well lubricated,” Heero muttered with satisfaction before carefully pushing two fingers into her body. This time, Relena gave an almost mewling sound and clung to him closer. Heero nodded to himself before pushing her away. Relena’s wordless protest died in her throat as he sunk to the floor next to the couch, still giving her a finger workout. He mouthed the thin skin at her knee before moving on to licking the inside of her thigh. He hesitated for a fracture of a second before letting his tongue follow where his fingers had gone.
Relena was too lost in the sensations to realise that Heero was asking her something in between the licking. He broke away and waited until her eyes focussed on him again.
“What?”
“Is it okay to head for the target now?”
Relena really could have kept that up for quite some time longer, but the almost pained expression in Heero’s eyes, and the way he looked almost ready to burst, made her think that it was time to let him enter her. She nodded, then thought of something: “Contraceptives!”
In response Heero grabbed his discarded trousers and dug in the pockets for a moment before producing a condom. He frowned for a moment. “There were other methods, but some had to be fitted, some had to be inserted earlier, and some needed practice to...”
“Just put it on,” Relena interrupted. Heero nodded and complied.
There was a bit of awkwardness as they tried to figure out which limb went where. They ended up on the thick carpet on the floor, Heero’s back against the couch and Relena arranged on his lap. She bit back a brief bout of panic as she felt his penis slipping into her, but quashed it ruthlessly even as Heero continued pressing inwards.
Both of them were breathing heavily when Heero was finally fully inside her. They stopped, both so Relena could adjust to the unfamiliar invasion, and so Heero could get back control over himself so he wouldn’t explode the moment he started moving. Finally, Relena looked at him with question in her eyes, and when he nodded they both started pulling back.
Heero maintained a vice-like grip on her hips as they picked up speed. Relena flung her head back, whimpering in pleasure as he leaned forward and licked the cleft between her breasts. His hair tickled her collarbone, and she reached down to tilt his head up so she could kiss him. Heero abruptly pulled her off him, stood, lifted her onto the couch, lifted her legs up and plunged into her again from where he was standing in front of her and the couch. Relena let out a short scream and he paused, worried, before she gave him a smouldering glance and he continued moving inside her.
Relena grabbed one of Heero’s hands and held it in front of her face, sucking two fingers into her mouth. The feel of her teeth against his skin sent Heero over the edge. Suddenly week-kneed, he couldn’t keep standing, barely feeling it when his knees hit the floor. Relena looked at her lover on the floor in front of her, smiled gently and grabbed the blanket off the couch before laying down next to him and spreading the blanket over them both.
Heero kept stroking her back and arms. “I can’t stop touching you,” he muttered. “Is that normal?”
“How should I know?” Relena yawned. She suddenly felt tired.
Heero pushed himself up on one elbow and looked at her. “Next time I’m going to make sure that you orgasm first.”
Relena giggled. “Heero, it was nice, really. It was very, very nice.”
“Next time will be better.”
Relena reached up and pulled at his shoulder until he lay down next to her. She snuggled in closer, and gave a happy sound when he resumed stroking her back. “I’m looking forward to it,” she muttered before drifting off to sleep.
Warnings: Smut and humour. Smutty humour. Please don't read if you're underage.
Theory to Practice
Relena looked at Heero with something like trepidation. “You want us to talk about what?” she asked carefully.
“Whether or not we’re ready to have sex,” Heero replied without any particular inflection in his voice. His face was carefully blank, his posture relaxed. He could just as easily have said that they should talk about what to have for dinner.
Relena rubbed her forehead. “Why do we need to talk about that?” she asked, somehow both dreading and anticipating the answer.
“Doctor J said that I shouldn’t try to have sex with anyone without talking with them about it first.”
“Dread” had been the right reaction, then.
“What does Doctor J have to do with anything?” Relena asked against her better judgement. Really, why did she always have to follow through to the bottom of things...
“He told me about this when he explained what sex is. And then I talked to Wufei later, and he said...”
Relena interrupted him. “You talked to Wufei about this!?”
Heero blinked, finally showing a reaction other than “blank”. “Well, yeah. I needed advice, and he’s better than most alternatives.”
Relena considered that. Heero could have asked Duo, who’d never let either of them hear the end of it, or Quatre, who’d never be able to look her in the eye again afterwards. Or, she thought with a shudder, he could have asked her brother.
“I guess Wufei wasn’t such a bad choice, after all,” she muttered to herself before peering suspiciously at Heero. “What exactly did he say?”
“He said that I should detail the risks, and after that just let things progress naturally. I’ve been getting a lot of information, and a lot of it doesn’t fit with the rest.” Heero looked slightly frustrated. “I’m wondering if it’s even worth it.”
Relena, however, had finally come to realise that once she got through this conversation full of “DO NOT WANT”, she had a very real chance of actually having sex with Heero, which, to be honest, was something she rather thought she’d want to have. Now, she just had to play her cards right... “You don’t know until you’ve tried,” she said.
Heero nodded. “That’s true. Should we discuss the risks, then?”
Relena motioned for him to continue.
“First, there’s the risk of sexually transmittable diseases, although having never had sex before, I have never risked having anything transmitted to me, and should as such be clean. Can I assume it’s the same with you?”
Relena nodded. “It is.”
Heero continued: “Second, there’s the risk of impregnation, which I don’t think either of us are capable of dealing with right now. I have taken the liberty of obtaining several kinds of contraceptives which can be applied instantaneously should the situation where one needs them arise.”
“You sound like a textbook,” Relena observed.
Heero coughed. “I read some pamphlets. Thirdly, there’s the risk of my hurting you. I will take every measure to make sure that you are properly stretched and relaxed and lubricated before I enter you, but...” He hesitated.
“Well?” Relena prodded gently.
“I’m...fairly strong,” Heero said. He sounded nervous, all of a sudden. “I don’t want to hurt you in any way, but there’s the risk of my losing control when...” He looked away.
Relena reached out and touched his face gently. “I trust you,” she said, and Heero looked up to meet her eyes.
“You’ll tell me if I bring you pain, right?”
“I’ll tell, don’t worry. Was there anything else you wanted to discuss first?”
Heero shook his head. “No, that was it. Is there something you’re wondering?”
Relena thought about that for a moment, not so much to come up with something, but rather to consider whether or not to say what she was thinking. Finally, she said: “I’m...a bit unclear about how our relationship stands. Why do you want to have sex with me? Is it because you care about me? Or are you just horny and I’m available?”
Heero blinked. “It’s because I could never imagine having sex with anyone else, of course. You’re the only person I trust enough. And, well, I kind of thought that was part of being in an intimate relationship.” He looked confused. “Was I wrong?”
“It’s common, but not necessary,” Relena replied, trying to process what had sounded more than anything like Heero promising her monogamy. “Is this something you want, or something you think you should want?”
Heero reached out and cupped her face between his broad, calloused palms. “I never do things I don’t want to.” He leaned forward and kissed her.
They’d kissed before; small, fleeting kisses that never left either of them satisfied. This was different. Heero’s lips moved against Relena’s almost forcefully. Relena pressed back, threading her fingers through his thick hair and leaning her full weight against his body. Heero would never be a large man, but he was stronger than most people twice his size, and all of a sudden he broke free and stood, pulled her to her feet then picked her up like she weighed nothing. He carried her from the kitchen table where they had been talking into the lounge, where he deposited her on the wide couch before crawling over her and looking down at her from where he was leaning his weight on his hands.
Relena smiled at him and caressed his face, her other hand moving downwards...
Heero barely suppressed a yelp when she gave his butt a rough squeeze. He gave her a glare before moving back and began fiddling with the button and zipper on her skirt. It was Relena’s turn to yelp as he got the skirt off and her pantyhose and panties followed quickly. “Heero!” she protested, but Heero wasn’t listening.
“Stretching is necessary,” he muttered before shoving two fingers into her vaginal opening, only to let out a surprised “oof” as Relena kicked him in the chest.
“A little gentleness, perhaps?” she asked acerbically.
Heero sat back and considered. “Perhaps the couch isn’t wide enough for you to spread your legs properly.”
“Mister, that’s the least of your problems...hey, put me down!”
Heero, who had just lifted her up, put her back down on the couch and gave her a confused look. “I was just going to carry you to the bedroom.”
“Oh, this can’t be fixed with a simple relocation,” Relena muttered. Propriety warred with the need to be vulgar within her, and for once, vulgarity won. “You can’t just shove your hand up my twat like that!”
Heero looked taken aback. “I was just preparing you for penetration.”
“Well, it felt like you were re-enacting Amundsen and Scott’s race for the South Pole in my vagina.” Relena paused, and then relented in the face of his shamefacedness. “Look...it’s not a matter of getting there first, you know. We’ve got plenty of time. Have you never heard of foreplay?”
“No.”
That explained things. Relena was starting to wish that she could have seen where he got his information, and that she could have included some material of her own in there. How to put this...”Sometimes, getting there is just as fun as going there.”
Blank face.
“The roundabout way is sometimes the best one.”
Face full of confusion.
“You don’t have to head directly for the target. You really should deal with the surrounding situation first.”
That one got through. Heero started nodding in consideration, then more firmly. “Understood. What should I do first?”
Relena suddenly felt awkward. She had never done this with anything other than her own hands before, either. “Well, first off, I think we should both be naked,” she said, just to buy some time. Unfortunately, she was talking to Heero Yuy in mission mode. She barely had time to react before he had removed his clothing, and started moving towards the buttons on her blouse.
Relena batted his hands away and started unbuttoning her blouse herself. She kept staring at Heero’s suddenly nude form. In the dim light she could just make out a magnitude of small, pale scars, and she was overcome with a sudden desire to lick them.
“Here, lie back,” she said, indicating the couch. Heero looked confused, but did as she said, and Relena started moving over him, softly kissing his chest and abdomen. Heero drew in a sharp breath and reached out, drawing her soft hair between his fingers before raising the same hand to his mouth and biting his knuckle.
Relena looked at the hardening limb between Heero’s legs with something like trepidation. Was she really going to have that inside her body?
“Relena.” The sound of her name made her look up into Heero’s face. His eyes were gentle. “We don’t have to have vaginal penetrative intercourse today. We can just do things like this.”
The phrase “vaginal penetrative intercourse” where a normal man his age would have said “go all the way” broke the tension. Relena sat back on her haunches, trying to stifle the giggles that rose in her throat. Heero looked at her in confusion.
“What is it?” he asked.
Relena just smiled, then flopped down on top of him, cuddling her face into the crook of his neck. “You’re just too adorable some times.”
Heero sighed in something that wasn’t quite resignation - it sounded too contented for that, and wrapped his arms around her. “I like that,” he noted.
“Being called adorable?”
“No, the way you fit against me and the way your chest rubs against mine.”
Relena looked up. “Oh, really?” She pressed her lips against the side of his face in a brief kiss, shifted her position slightly and began to move slowly, rubbing her breasts against Heero’s chest. Heero gave a soft moan and moved one hand between them, cupping one breast. He moved the other hand downwards, until he was kneading her hip.
Relena kissed his Adam’s apple and moved one hand down, down, until she touched his penis. Heero bit back a strangled groan as she began to tentatively stroke.
“You can do that harder,” he bit out. Relena gave him a startled glance before complying. Heero moved his hand from her hip to her backside, lightly dragging his fingers along her buttcrack until they touched her outer lips. Abruptly, he sat up, and Relena tumbled back a little.
“My turn,” he said, before pulling her in against his body. Relena held on to his shoulders as he started playing with his fingers around her entrance. By pure chance, he touched a spot that made Relena shudder and nip at his shoulder. He pulled her back to look her in the eyes before returning his hands to where they had just been. Relena felt herself growing damp.
“Well lubricated,” Heero muttered with satisfaction before carefully pushing two fingers into her body. This time, Relena gave an almost mewling sound and clung to him closer. Heero nodded to himself before pushing her away. Relena’s wordless protest died in her throat as he sunk to the floor next to the couch, still giving her a finger workout. He mouthed the thin skin at her knee before moving on to licking the inside of her thigh. He hesitated for a fracture of a second before letting his tongue follow where his fingers had gone.
Relena was too lost in the sensations to realise that Heero was asking her something in between the licking. He broke away and waited until her eyes focussed on him again.
“What?”
“Is it okay to head for the target now?”
Relena really could have kept that up for quite some time longer, but the almost pained expression in Heero’s eyes, and the way he looked almost ready to burst, made her think that it was time to let him enter her. She nodded, then thought of something: “Contraceptives!”
In response Heero grabbed his discarded trousers and dug in the pockets for a moment before producing a condom. He frowned for a moment. “There were other methods, but some had to be fitted, some had to be inserted earlier, and some needed practice to...”
“Just put it on,” Relena interrupted. Heero nodded and complied.
There was a bit of awkwardness as they tried to figure out which limb went where. They ended up on the thick carpet on the floor, Heero’s back against the couch and Relena arranged on his lap. She bit back a brief bout of panic as she felt his penis slipping into her, but quashed it ruthlessly even as Heero continued pressing inwards.
Both of them were breathing heavily when Heero was finally fully inside her. They stopped, both so Relena could adjust to the unfamiliar invasion, and so Heero could get back control over himself so he wouldn’t explode the moment he started moving. Finally, Relena looked at him with question in her eyes, and when he nodded they both started pulling back.
Heero maintained a vice-like grip on her hips as they picked up speed. Relena flung her head back, whimpering in pleasure as he leaned forward and licked the cleft between her breasts. His hair tickled her collarbone, and she reached down to tilt his head up so she could kiss him. Heero abruptly pulled her off him, stood, lifted her onto the couch, lifted her legs up and plunged into her again from where he was standing in front of her and the couch. Relena let out a short scream and he paused, worried, before she gave him a smouldering glance and he continued moving inside her.
Relena grabbed one of Heero’s hands and held it in front of her face, sucking two fingers into her mouth. The feel of her teeth against his skin sent Heero over the edge. Suddenly week-kneed, he couldn’t keep standing, barely feeling it when his knees hit the floor. Relena looked at her lover on the floor in front of her, smiled gently and grabbed the blanket off the couch before laying down next to him and spreading the blanket over them both.
Heero kept stroking her back and arms. “I can’t stop touching you,” he muttered. “Is that normal?”
“How should I know?” Relena yawned. She suddenly felt tired.
Heero pushed himself up on one elbow and looked at her. “Next time I’m going to make sure that you orgasm first.”
Relena giggled. “Heero, it was nice, really. It was very, very nice.”
“Next time will be better.”
Relena reached up and pulled at his shoulder until he lay down next to her. She snuggled in closer, and gave a happy sound when he resumed stroking her back. “I’m looking forward to it,” she muttered before drifting off to sleep.