Why is it that every time I get my haircut the ladies always try to rape my head with hair gel? By now they should know that I won't let that crap touch my scalp. If I were to use common sense, I'd conclude that these women are just doing their job, but my ego tells a different story. According to Sabastion (that's my ego's name. I had to name him ( Read more... )

There are some real good times when you like to recognize that life is nothing like a line. When you lose things you thought you couldn't live without and live, has got to be the number one prize taker. You sort of stand there in your head, or that is to say your conception of yourself stands there (and, incidentally, I'd like to know where you ( Read more... )

Most times, all goes smoothly, the bathroom and I conduct our business, wish each other a good morrow, and are on our respective ways. However, rarely, perhaps one out of a hundred times, something goes terribly, unexpectedly wrong, and I find my usually companionable wang has suddenly acquired a random powerup from the breakout 1980's classic ( Read more... )

When you are trying to impress people with your words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are saying something ordinary, it will seem original if you make it vague, or open ended. Impress and intimidate by saying less. The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.

Before I start writing again. Ask me five questions.

Any five that your twisted mind could so desire, no matter how personal, private, or random. I will answer them with complete honesty and I have to answer them all.