You, lounging there playing your guitar, me laying on the couch, typing out my next novel on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

This is what I want my future to be.

I know it'll never happen.

They won't stop bleeding.

Also, I think they're infected.

I don't know what to say. This New Year's is so completely different from the last several. I'm sitting at home, on my computer, because as of right now, I have precisely 1 friend. She's busy with her other, more important friends. It's not a good sign to a good start of a new year ( Read more... )

...has become one endless day of work.

Seriously. I go to work.

Come home, play on the computer for a few hours, go to bed, wake up and go to work.

Thus is the cycle of my existence.

God i fucking hate it.

And, why yes, i AM a BAMF.

Today has been...odd, for me.

It's like i've been in this trance all day, and i can't come out of it. It feels like my dream last night was reality, and right now i'm sleeping, and i don't know how to wake up.

I...i don't know what i want. I hate it. I don't know what's worth the effort anymore.

I very much want to cry right now.

Carl is engaged to that...BITCH.

I knew he loved her, but i never thought it would go this far.

I thought he would listen to his friends.

Oh my god.

I want to cry. My Carl, engaged.

Oh my god, i think i'm jealous.

Wow.

There's something in the way she moves, like she knows exactly who she is and who she wants to be. I can't move like that ( Read more... )

I feel like such a dork right now. I'm teaching my dad how to play PuzzleQuest. Lulz.

Haha. This is just funny watching him.

I wrote this whole long note to him. [Not Terry, Cory or Daniel.] Telling him that no matter how much i tend to like somebody else, i'm always comparing them to him. Telling him how i could feel so in love with somebody, but not be as let down when i don't get their phone call as with his. Why can't i get him out of my head? We hang out one night ( Read more... )

I should've stopped myself from saying anything to Cory. But i wanted to wish him a Happy Birthday. He's 21 today. If they were still up here, we'd probably be drinking with his parents, or my brother and a bunch of friends. But they're not, and we aren't. I have this burning need to be over him all ready. Every time i think i am, he pulls me back ( Read more... )