my freshman year is coming to a close. thank god, it's been pretty rough on me emotionally. i almost feel as though i am in the same mind set from when i was a high school freshman. then, i felt extremely out of place. i felt as though i didn't have any real friends. by the end of that year i realized that my fears were right. i kept breaking down ( Read more... )

well, it's easter and i feel as though i've been trapped. the way my mom has been talking i thought it was her year. but when i talked to my dad the other day i got confused. he was acting like it was his year. i ended up having to find out whos year it is from sean. i just wish my mom would have said something before that it was his year. right ( Read more... )

last night, i don't know, everything seemed so right. i felt as if the two of us had been together forever. i have never felt like that with him before. i was happy. it was almost as though i had what i had before. it even seemed as though we were talking without talking. i don't really know where i'm trying to go with this, i guess i just wanted ( Read more... )

had a long conversation with a good old friend today, only to find out more than i wanted to know about certain things. but it's okay. it was good talking to them. i had somethings i needed to know about myself and i knew they would be the only one who could tell me. and i thank them for it. and i keep wondering if i'll ever be happy like i was ( Read more... )

as i was looking through an old diary of mine, i stumbled across this poem ( Read more... )

i'm still upset about today's earlier events. and the worst part is, i don't know how it all came about. got up this morning in a surprisingly good mood. went to 3D and i worked for about three hours straight. i even got my project done in class which is amazing all by itself. i can't help but think i was only able to accomplish this due to the ( Read more... )

it's only the first week and already everything is going wrong. i've broken down every single day since i got back. i don't know what to do anymore. i don't even know why i am here. heh. it's horrible. my two closest friends here are the same way... except we're not really talking. we're hung out except we all just kinda sat there staring at one ( Read more... )

it's funny how a pair of pants can bring back so many memories... i'm cleaning my room today and i find my favorite pair of pants. i remember paint the shack... clint, antonio, mike, and eck. how i messed everything up with clint. bah, i never should have listened to antonio and if certain people hadn't showed up at band camp that night to surprise ( Read more... )

i hate it here and i hate it there. here i know exactly what i want to do, except everyone is busy or they already went back to school. i feel like i've wasted my whole break. most of the time i'm been here letting my thoughts eat me alive. yeah, i've had some fun but for the most part i've been alone. i've only seen my friends once... i think that ( Read more... )

i'm falling in love with someone whom i'm beginning to understand will never love me. i have myself in a terrible situation. i feel as though i should have sat and talked to jon about everything last night, but i didn't want to talk about things. i only wanted a good time. so we sat and drank our coffee and talked about his inner goddess that was ( Read more... )