desperate lover poemgraffilthyAugust 28 2005, 17:31:24 UTC
It's not badly written, but after the 9th line ( ..of her eyes... ) whatever you're trying to convey gets muddled somehow. Unless, of course, odd confusion IS what you're trying to talk about. ( I meant that, I'm not trying to be a dick or anything. ) Is it that her lover used to force her to fuck, or whatever, and now that she isn't with him she misses the violence of it? Or is she trying to figure out a way to remove herself from the situation she's still in? Or is it the break-up itsself? - I'm genuinely curious.
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