I guess I can only explain my life is nothing but a lonely, black emptiness that consumes me and everyone else around me. I suffer from depression, which runs my life ( Read more... )

Well it's 12:11am right now. I was alseep a little while ago but now I can't sleep. I made bbq chicken tonight for dinner and for some strange reason I thought I left it in the oven which is impossible because we ate it why would it be in the oven. But still I ran down stairs because I smelled chicken, I was like oh shit. It was only john heating ( Read more... )

well today we fixed the car. put the bolts back on the door so it would not fall off. That is just about all we did today. I will write back later when I have something to say. -jess-

My bf picked me up today and we went to go stay at his mothers house. Things where going good until the drivers side door broke and swung open on a turn while going to his mothers. I was so scared shit less because I have a fear of falling out of cars. We go to his mom's and his mom threw a fit so we went back home. This is funny. we took a cord ( Read more... )

I feel so alone. This consumes me. It really does. Im so sick of this. Nothing has worked. Why do I deserve this? What did I do? What can I do? Everday it seems I keep slipping away. I just want to be normal. I don't understand why todd loves me. How could he? I am happy that someone stood by me, and did not leave me like the rest. I just want to ( Read more... )

Well today is val. day. Tonight my boyfriend and I are going to the movies and ( Read more... )

It's about 230am and im feeling a little better. I just wish all this would go away. Im just feeling so alone right now. Im chatting online with my bf because he is at his mom's house right now. Im sad that he is not here but i need to be alone. I need to face this, I need to get over this. Im feeling like im about to have a panic attack. I don't ( Read more... )

Nothing to much is going on, it's 1:51pm and I'm just chatting with people on my site. I have been thinking a lot about my future and how much of a loser I am. I don't have a job anymore, I'm not in collage. My life is kind of sad. All I do is chat to people online and e-mail. I feel like a waste of life. I know it is my fault. If I was not so ( Read more... )

Do you ever feel that life sometimes is so hopeless you wished you never got out of bed. I really wish all this would go away. Pills, therapy nothing worked. I have tried everything and yet still nothing has worked. I still can’t can go 5 minutes without just wanting to end my life right there. I wish all of it would go away but as the years pass ( Read more... )