1. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother & father's middle name ( Read more... )

These two videos make me laugh.

http://www.redbeardtaipei.blogspot.com

On my way home from an intense IKEA run for pillows, sheets, and blankets for my new bed, the cab driver fell asleep at the wheel TWICE.

I really thought I was going to die. All I could think about was my new comforter. I would never get to sleep with it!

The whole thing was sort of of sad; also, very rainy today.

I move into my apartment this weekend. My life as a couch hopper is finally over! (eight months! eight months ( Read more... )

I cant remember if I smoked a cigarette about twenty minutes ago. My coat is still on, so I did go outside... but I honestly can't recollect if I actually smoked. Is that weird? I think it sort of is.

MAYBE I SHOULD TRY SLEEPING ONCE AND AWHILE

I teach a class of children that only recently came out of kindergarten. They are roughly four years old. It’s a big class, twenty kids. From the second I walk into the room there is a boundless, squirming, distractible energy I try to harness into phonics lessons and choreographed renditions of “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” but obviously that only ( Read more... )

I'm posting via IM right now. that's all.

this is a quote from a facebook message I just got from my friend Rachel... I think it captures the depths of my sloppy nature this new year's eve. I really know how to make a good impression.

"do you remember licking charlotte's roommate's jalapeno jelly...twice?"