I still hate being alive.  The joy never lasts long.  Bored.  Always bored in in pain.

I can maybe get behind karma, and the idea of the energy you put out being what you get back.  Sure doesn't explain the horrible things, but it works on a day to day level ( Read more... )

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I hacked at my bangs again today with my son's clippers.  I need to stop!  I wondered what would happen if I shaved my head like Britney Spears.  Would I get committed?  Or just be really cold and embarresed?

My birthday is coming.  I am nowhere.

I will avoid discussing the trigger this morning, but occasionally I will have these realizations of stuff I already knew...when it the reality of what information I already had actually hits my system.  It's electric, and tingles in my body, and it's not always unpleasant, but it's a real physical sensation of knowing ( Read more... )

sometimes it's like I am killing myself everyday, and not dying.

I think I am losing weight.  My tight pants aren't tight....and my regular pants fall off.  quinoa has been wonderful.  Been also eating just half of whatever I have, and trying to walk and do the stairs more often.  Nothing dramatic, but I don't feel like I am struggling to lose weight at all...now if I could only WORK at losing weight, maybe it ( Read more... )

I am 36 in college and really actually going nowhere ( Read more... )

I think the only thing I really want to do with the rest of my life is punch her in the face before I die.