(Untitled)

[seepassion]

Aw, c'mon now. Really? Fucking really. How the ever-living shit am I supposed to go to my fucking doctor's appointment with tits? I mean, seriously now. I need to get this thing off of my fucking leg. Like - yesterday-like. It's fucking itchy.

And Evelyn said I could probably get it off. She promised. I can't have lady-bits right now. Ugh. Fuckers

Comments

[oheyzeus]

You're killing me here, Z. ♥

[seepassion]

But Boss. This sucks.

I want to be glad about the tits. I do. I love my tits. They're fantastic. But, seriously? Timing. Bad, terrible, horrible timing.

[oheyzeus]

Well, we have choices. I'd say you should phone your nurse and claim to be your own sister. Say that you've been called out of state but you'll be back soon. I can have an orthopaedic surgeon with a saw and a good bedside manner on standby.

[seepassion]

Oh.

Well, shit.

That makes an unhealthy amount of sense, Bossman. You're like - fuck, you're brilliant. Like - seriously. I could climb you like a tree. Well, uh, if I had full use of my limbs. Y'know. Right. That.

[meli_mollifies]

What on Earth did you get yourself into?

And if whatever is on your leg is really that itchy, a trip to a doctor may not be the worst thing. Find another doctor if you fear going to your own. Cocytus would appreciate it. And likely the new additions as well.

[seepassion]

I'd like to think that it means that Khaos loves me. Or, alternatively, I got hit by a car. Answer dependent on what you meant. I get into a lot of shit.

Cast. Casts are itchy. And heavy. And seriously fucking annoying. And Nurse Evelyn loves me. I wouldn't betray her in such a manner. She might refuse to make me babies in the future. And then how would Cocytus and I begin to build our tiny-person army?

[meli_mollifies]

Ah, yes. The cast. Well, are you planning on having an upper-body exam, then? If not, I'd say bind them to get by if it's only for your leg.

If, however, you are more womanly than just the busty bits...

Well.

I hear there's a fantastic theater troupe nearby. And what are you two going to do with a tiny-person army?

[seepassion]

I look like a fucking pixie! I'm all small and with tits and - dude, I am so completely a lady. No one skimped on my womanly areas. They are all matching in all places. 100% of girl-shaped goodness. I couldn't pass for dude-me. Dick notwithstanding.

And what else do you do with tiny people? Raise them.

[pornpoet]

Hahahahaha. The world is so pretty today.

[seepassion]

But I don't want to be pretty today. I want to be able to walk!

[pornpoet]

You can do both! I do it, like, everyday but taco night. Do you want to see my lady doctor? Or borrow my sparkle wheelchair for your not walking needs? Lets stay brightside up in here.

[seepassion]

Evelyn isn't going to recognize me with tits. She's supposed to remove my cast, Erato. This is distressing. My crutches are already bedazzled. But fuck them. I just want my leg.

[catalystofwar]

Maybe you should try another doctor.

[seepassion]

But Evelyn gives me BlowPops. Other doctors do not give out BlowPops. Mostly this is because they suck, I imagine. And I don't want shitty doctors going near my extremities with a fucking buzzsaw. That seems like a horrible fucking idea, hot stuff.

[catalystofwar]

I'm glad you equate candy with talent. I'm sure that will get you far in life,.

[seepassion]

Haven't gone wrong with that policy so far. I mean, it gives a bit of a weird and 'white van' vibe to the Bossman picking the lot of us up but, hey, it happens to the best of us.