Jude's birthday was last week, but I'm just now getting depressed over it. I'm supposed to be doing this big speech on what happend to him and the organization that's helping me. Everytime I start working on it, I have to stop. I am so behind in my schoolwork now and I know I'v had all the time in the world to do it. It's just I'm so upset I can't ( Read more... )

Doris Ober wrote When your husband dies, you become a widow. When your wife dies, a widower. Children who lose their parents are called orphans. But we have no name for the parent who loses a child, nor for the brothers and sisters of a child who dies, nor for the others--aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, even the friends, contemporaries, and ( Read more... )

I look at the canlander and count 4 days untill it's been One whole year since Julian passed. I don't want to say it But I feel like it should'v happend already. Now that it's so close I just want the day to get here so I can get over this anxouse feeling. I keep having flashbacks of that fateful morrning, and it scares me because it still feels ( Read more... )

Today I recieved my info packet from SUDC in the mail. I read every story from how parents like me lost their child. I noticed a lot of simalarties regarding the last day they spent with their child and mine ( Read more... )

After learning from a freind about this site, I created my own memorial for Julain. I still need to work on a few things, mostly getting more pictures posted. This will be the frist time I will post pitures of Julain's Daddy. I'd like to let him and the rest of his family know about this site BUT not sure how. there are only a couple people from ( Read more... )

Yesterday morring I desided to stop by Julain's grave. I had gone to the bank to drain my money outa my account for spending cash. I was going to the 33rd Flee Roast and Ox Market that afternoon. Anyways, I get to julian's grave and I noteced Kevin had been there. He had rearanged the matchbox cars and added two more. seeing they were pilling up in ( Read more... )

I have been asked to day by many people how I feel. I have been congraulated. consoled and cried over.  My husband is trying his best to do what he can to make some cash for us by  working for this meat company selling meat door to door its not working so well.  He does not say much and  has not  about what took place yesterday ( theclosing of your ( Read more... )

Four days from now will be OThello's fifth birthday.

Thirteen days from now will mark his 3rd angelversary.

Mixed emotions.

But, I miss him most of all.

I don't know any other words to describe what I know I'm going thru ( Read more... )

well, today I woke up in a really down mood, and took two Zoloft. KNowing that today is Fathers Day I couldn't help but think of Kevin. this will be his frist Father's Day with Julain. So, for just today I feel sorry for him. Yes I'm still pissed off at him about a lot of stuff BUT I don't know...... I almost feel like calling him. This might be ( Read more... )