i am in jordan's bed & we just watched too many episodes of Bleach & Narotu. he & alex are sitting on my feet playing halo ( Read more... )

everything is coming together. i visualize finishing scarves & intersecting roads. yellow lines. seams & snyth beats ( Read more... )

i have hundreds of polaroids to scan, there is proof there that i am building everything i wanted so badly for so long ( Read more... )

we had indian food from the city for christmas dinner. and listened to diane cluck, jana hunter, vetiver, and devendra (golden apples). i got speakers for my iPod & will be getting a stand mixer (cherry red) this week. i slept all day for the first time in weeks. i miss my home. i miss my dad. i love him so much in the sweater vest he got for his ( Read more... )

i like how he presses my lip with his finger when he kisses me & after he comes all he says is "i'm so happy. thank you. i'm sorry. thank you. oh my god. i'm so happy" & he sounds like he is going to cry ( Read more... )

i miss lisa anne & the sounds she makes ( Read more... )

i am becoming more comfortable in the city. i brought alex & cam & jordan vegan pumpkin pecan cookies. cam smoked hash, named them poofy truffs, & is going to help em sell my baked goods at People's Cafe on Haight. so. i have a job as a pastry chef. jordan and i watched bleach episodes until three in the morning. went shopping. bought 'boks with ( Read more... )

it's fucking cold in here & i'm past caring. i am going to make latkas and bring them to work. i don't know why. i work. that's what i do. i don't have people in my life i see regularly or can depend on. i am ok with that. i am waiting. there are four boys who want to have me. i don't want them. they are nice & good looking & smart. i ignore their ( Read more... )

my hands are trembling & tentative, like birds or boats, very white and with small scabs (payment for 9to5, payment for past tresspasses against my body). i miss my papa a lot right now, he is a hero, and i remember that when i was very small i wrote a paper about him called "my papa was a great man." and he was. that is irrelevant, but that's what ( Read more... )

i just found two absolutely breathtaking apartments for rent in the mission ( Read more... )