i feel weird right now, i dont know if i'm actually sad or if josh ritter is just making me feel sad. i bored, i know that much, i wish i had more friends, who lived closer, i wish i was in toronto right now, i wish i had a boyfriend, i wish i had a life ( Read more... )

107 fml.

I don't even know if anyone reads this, but its feels nice to write something and know that it could be read, even if it isn't.

I'm tired, but im about to go out for a jog, i feel like I've done nothing but laze around for like three days and its making me feel crappy so i have to get out!

goal for tomorrow: get out of the house!

sunday morning sort of.
anxiety every day, the kind of attacks i havent had in almost two years, its really scary.
pam says its because im about to go through a big, massive change in my life and so its normal for me to feel anxious, i believe her.
i also think its because im tired.
in two day i can finally get some sleep.

i dont know why i still let you get to me,
but you still fucking do.

i want a boy.

or i just want to marry nick jonas...

its 2:25 am,
ive had to pee for almost an hour,
i took a sleeping pill, and i can't sleep.
sometimes i wish i could just fast forward until morning.
sometimes i wish we didnt have to sleep,
although my dreams have recently become so interesting that i think i may miss them.
to bed with me.

i have felt so lost and so idle since my little brothers nintendo ds got sent away ( Read more... )

first panick attack in over a month this morning ( Read more... )

today was my last day therapy, as per my decision ( Read more... )

i hate myself.
i am so sick of being me, i am awful.
im not pretty, nor desireable, im not even nice, im not even smart.
im a failure at all things important in life.

i wish every night at 11:11 to lose weight and to fall in love,
and i pray to god to give me the strength to be a better person.