By the age of 25 (HOPEFULLY) I'll have my BASW.

I have to get my ass in gear now.
No more goofing around and wasting time.
I already feel like I have wasted a year... but I want this.
4 years.
I'm going to work ten times harder than before.
I will do this.

I have my demons ( Read more... )

I lost.
I know I did.

Classes start tomorrow.
Very Excite about one.
Emily is in one.

I need a second yob so I can receive mo money.
I want that bike to work.
ding ding.

I want a basket too... So Charlie can go for a ride as well. He'll be terrified but we'll be together.

I have to use the washroom.

I want to knock out some teeth, break some knee caps... you ( Read more... )

 
If you only knew.

How Am I supposed to feel???
when he speaks of her, he glows.
"Her voice gives me the chills."
Like she is some sort of goddess.
he calls her "Laura Loo"

and I'm "Bridge-tard"
or "Bitchit"

huh.
Don't lie to me.
I deserve it though, I'd be a hypocrite. a big one
I am.

I feel so worthless.
I did bring this on myself. I should have known better ( Read more... )

I move ahead one step.
but backwards 5.

no MAS!!

Right after high school, I developed a very strange fear of spiders. Which was weird, because I was never afraid of them before. I would see one and break down into tears, freeze up and call for help. and that was humiliating  for being 19 yrs old. I felt so weak and so stupid. It would stop me from doing laundry or taking showers. I remember once ( Read more... )

Back to normal.

I liked my freedom.
I'm a terrible person to say that.

I finally made it to the beach.
A fucking dream.
no one near me, just the sound of the water and cicadas.
Peace.
But why did I feel so alone.
I thought a lot.
I read.
I tanned with no top on. ha! take that world.
I skipped stones.
I was floating.
but I was alone.

I long for human contact.
Phil has been gone since Tuesday. he doesn't call.
I haven't seen the kid ( Read more... )

I wake up automatically at 5am everyday, no matter what.
If I have to work at 4am... I wake up at 3.
If I don't have work... I wake up at 5am and then fall back asleep till 8am, that's all I get.

(sigh)

my idea of what my life is has change drastically 2 years ago, I don't mean to be so dramatic... but I'm not that big of a fan of change.
Phil and I ( Read more... )

i AM happy with where I am now... life, work (not), school (not) and phil.
My family IS a family now.
we're back to normality, or reaching it.
My dad hasn't drank since Christmas. I'd like to believe he hasn't.
Mom works during the day, she can sleep in her bed at night.
John has a new girlfriend, she's nice. and she'll always be ten times better than ( Read more... )