Dear God,

Strength, courage & wisdom. Please.

Love,
DJ

I would like to reach steady happiness again soon. I don't want to feel like I'm missing something anymore. What's THIS lesson ]:

I don't like being depressed, hurt, guilty, or any of that negative stuff. I can't find the right word for it at the moment, so let's just diguise it as "negativity." I don't like feeling dirty, trashy, ugly, nasty after ( Read more... )

In all honesty, college really proved me wrong. Everything about it.

I came in with a skeptical, more on the bad side, kind of attitude. I didn't want to go to a school where I knew alot of people. I didn't want to go to a school where I didn't think I was going to be able to change. My college friends told me that the school's so huge that I  ( Read more... )

Last night I stayed up until 3:30 to 4:00 AM feeling guilty, betrayed, and confused all at the same time. It didn't take long until it hit me that I need to change.

I crave randomly, not just when I'm sad or upset anymore. The scent used to make me gag, but I breathe in deep when I walk by it now. Yeah, that fucking desperate. I inhale leftovers ( Read more... )

I don't like hearing people get disappointed in me, but then it suck because it's the REAL me. I make mistakes. Sorry that you didn't know, but I do. Not sorry I do it though. Funny, cus I used to be the person on the other end. Watching people fall & telling them how it's bad. It's not karma, it's showing me another perspective. How I was in ( Read more... )

Back and forth we sway like branches in a storm

Change the weather still together when it ends

That may be all I need

In darkness he is all I see

Come and rest your bones with me

Driving slow on sunday morning

And I never want to leave

But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do

Sunday morning rain is falling and I’m calling out to you

Singing ( Read more... )

"How many licks does it take to get to the center of your universe?"

Today I feel like this:


( Read more... )

This all could have been better...

Edit. 8:17 PM
WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
Here it goes again. The part where I lose my mind.
D: ]: ];

"I am not who I think I am.

I am not who you think I am.

I am who I think you think I am."
--Credits go to Professor Fliss, Human Communications 100 for teaching me this.

Don't smother each other, no one can grow in shade.
Sigh. Whatever makes it work.
I get very hopeful when I start thinking back to the days
where I had blonde hair & pre-braces for you.

This weekend, I learned a huge chunk about my past, about my family. I'm shocked, amazed, and thankful all at the same time. That story is going to change my life. It ( Read more... )

*New goal:
Master the art of patience & forgiveness.
--- Know what means most to me & keep it close.
--- Stop thinking about what I don't have; embrace what's given.
--- People's effort > My pride.

The plan is to work on this until I get it right.
No more rushing because I "can't handle."