how long has it been?

shit is fucked up.

life just seems crazy

but is it because it is not?

yeah, but maybe it is.

feels so weird right now.

cant explain much.

maybe
except
for 
you

 you get to tell me how you feel, and everything i did.. and pretty much put me down as much as possible.. and then call it quits and i get nothing, just ignorance. and am i allowed to tell you anything? anything? tell you how i feel and what you did wrong or anything? no i get nothing, and now it just keeps building and building. i mean, was that ( Read more... )

i'm so stupid. i just keep digging myself deeper and deeper.
FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KKKK K K KK K K K K

and i fucking do this to myself
i just fuck myself over and over

AND THERE;S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT
EXCEPT FUCKING END MY LIFE

 where do you think she is?

i wish i could be there for you
but for so many reasons i cant
i wish we could have been what we should have been
but neither of us was thinking reasonably, couldnt after a certain point

lets play the blame game

fo sho

 jeff mangum in jersey in september? oh hell yessss. and another arcade fire album coming out in march? and peter bjorn and paul tonight in manhattan? and news of getting to see an old friend when i go to cali in march? and gil scott heron? and huge tax return? and tattoos?

shit.

 had the best snow fight ever last night. was so great ( Read more... )

 i've been so tired. all i've been doing is sleeping and working. and any morning i do have off i just can't stop sleeping until i have to get ready for work. i think it's all finally caught up to me. plus its been so fucking cold. its been horrible. fucking health department came into work the other night. worst damn night of my life. and its all ( Read more... )

ohh antlers.. oh on vinyl how i love you ( Read more... )

 i really wish i could stop fucking thinking about what happened last night ( Read more... )

 the dreams have stopped. since xmas i dreamed of you every night for like two weeks. then it finally stopped. i've had like almost a week of not dreaming about you. i slept all day today because i was so sick. i dreamt i woke up here.. and you were at the door. and i made you promise me this wasnt a dream. you swore up and down. and it felt so ( Read more... )