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i sincerley despise precal and what it is doing to me.

i sincerley hate my life right now.
i think things are going great, then i get fucking shot down.
and fall down.
and fall down.
and fall down.
it's a neverending cycle.

i feel like an idiot complaining though. someone i know has it so much worse. i can't even begin to explain how bad her situation is.

life is so fucking unfair.

she was finally fucking happy.
and now she's gone.

i never got to really tell her how much i appreciated what she did for me.

so i'm either going to be extremley happy soon, or get hurt very badly. i really don't know which.

the fluidity of which i drift in and out of people's lives never ceases to amaze me.

and sleep deprivation.
i need to get more sleep, starting tonight.
goodnight.

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why do i even bother kidding myself?
1.25 more years until rhode island.

and if i don't get accepted into risd or pratt, then i have no idea what i'm going to end up doing with my life.
i just want to get out of this fucking state and start over two thousand miles away from everyone and everything.

goodnight.

i've been alot happier this past week.
i really hope this works out.

on a different note, i'm scared my parents are going to get a divorce.

things might be looking up, who knows.
i've made alot of desicions regarding how i live my life latley
hopefully they're for the best