one good thing that came out of that incident last year: i'm on your side concerning sexuality. there are still voices in my head that try and convince me otherwise, but i don't really listen anymore.
see, i'd love to read an elaboration on that. like, did you come to that conclusion because i was hurt, or were there other reasons? i basically believe that as long as women are pitted against other women using chastity as a virtue, we can't have genuine friendships, can't be united along the same lines to fight oppression that confronts us all in our daily lives. there is a concept called intersectionality; it's the belief that systems of oppression work to keep each other in place; that racism and sexism and heterosexism, etc. are in the interest of the same people. and so i believe that as long as we are judging others by standards that keep the white male as the dominant power, we are contributing to the problem, and not the solution. and we can't kid ourselves that we are doing anything else. words like slut, whore, nigger, chink, spic, kyke, dyke, fag all are telling those in the so-called minority (even though they aren't) to step back in line. that they have gotten too far out of hand to let those in power be comfortable. but
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i came to this conclusion because you wrote something similar to this last year when we were iming (when you said that i myself was being sexist by calling you a whore), and because you have written similar things in your livejournal. the reality that women are "whores" and "sluts" while men are just men in terms of sexuality really rings true for me now. i no longer want to contribute to that problem, especially since i have more experience in that area now.
and your other entries about subverting social constructs has also influenced me a lot, if not in action, in thought and intent.
anyway, if you still have questions about why or how the incident happened, then feel free to call or im or write an email or whatever. we can even talk about it here if you're comfortable.
and have you noticed that our relationship has been strongly influenced by our male mutual friends? or maybe that's just how i think about our relationship, and maybe i should stop.
and there's more i want to say. i'll add more later.
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and i really like it when you update.
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and your other entries about subverting social constructs has also influenced me a lot, if not in action, in thought and intent.
anyway, if you still have questions about why or how the incident happened, then feel free to call or im or write an email or whatever. we can even talk about it here if you're comfortable.
and have you noticed that our relationship has been strongly influenced by our male mutual friends? or maybe that's just how i think about our relationship, and maybe i should stop.
and there's more i want to say. i'll add more later.
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with some feelings of shame for the number of sexual partners i have had
I really feel ya on this one.
Good to know others are in the same boat.
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