merril and dave are trying to make me go to shelmerdenes with them. i dont know if they think this is an episode of full house or what, but i will under no circumstances go to shelmerdences in charleswood. i'd much rather sit in my room with the ants.

I feel really heavy right now, like i'm the ancore of a HUGE sinking ship. or just a girl sitting in her room and feeling heavy. lately i've been really dragging myself around and just waiting for something good to happen, i am truely beginning to believe that whole "only so many bad things can happen as a build up for something REALLY good" line ( Read more... )

new fall out boy layout. thanks to riel. (i love you baby). Today was long- i wanted to go home the minute i stepped out of the car door. its really cold and cloudy. i am beginning to really enjoy it. i am in love with damien rice right now too. and i love watching my kitty sleep, it makes me feel like everything is okay, and everything that is ( Read more... )

today i wished i was someone else. i baught batman jammies. and i felt like my eyemakeup looked nice. i still wish i was someone else.

i really FUCKING appreciate being lectured about the things that other people do. because clearly everything i do is a complete failure, so on top of being lectured on the concept of me ABSOLUTLY being a complete waste of space, i need to be talked down at about the stupid things other people do too. i'm so frustrated and sick of everything right ( Read more... )

i liked waking up this morning. it was all quiete in my house, and i could hear was the sound of the rain, and the wind. i had a job interview, i am fairly sure i am working at wendys now. i'm tired. and i am worried about exams. and i need a hair cutt. and i want a puppy. and i am secretly in love with you. - ( Read more... )

i am alone and bitter. and i'm going to be fucking alone for the rest of my fucking life. i am bitter towards all those people that are in relationships and always talking to me about them, and theyre problems, and how much they miss eachtother, WELL I AM SORRY, BUT AT LEAST YOU FUCKING HAVE SOMEONE TO MISS. no one comment on this entry. i am just ( Read more... )

ever have those classes where you just sit and count the seconds as they go by? and its like time completely stops, purely because you want it to go faster. we're all in such a rush, to grow up, to be in love, to be 18, to be able to drive. and i've had a realization, i'm young, and i'm okay with it. i take things one step at a time, and that will ( Read more... )

i feel so pethetic. i'm sitting alone in my room blowing bubbles and watching them smash to the ground. i dont like myself very much today. but i feel really real. my fish died today. funny how i can get just so incredibly attached to things, and they always go away. i have blue cotton candy. and i still need a hair cutt. ( Read more... )

sorry i havent written in so long, i would say that i've been ssooo busy, but that would be a complete lie, i have just been completely neglecting you. school this week was intresting. i miss bayardy alot, but i am proud of him and his band things. tonight was the first swim of the summer for us, and the first swim in about 2 years for me. i love ( Read more... )