new journal
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ATTENTION: if you add
this journal i dont want to
hear anything about what
i am doing. seriously. i dont.
so if you cant handle it, do
not add me. thank you. :)

and i have no resolutions"

i am so fucking frustrated with everyone. everytime i say
something someone has to make a comment about it or
take it to a level it doesnt have to be brought to. it also
doesnt help that i miss jay way to much and it has only
been two days. BUT it doesnt stop there. i keep having
these stupid fucking dreams about joe telling me ( Read more... )

first of all,
MERRY CHRISTMAS

secondly,
new years resolution:
1. thin
2. confidence
3. no-more-joe(heartache)
4. find a boy who
can like me for who
i am, who has a family
that will care for me too

i'll probably add more, but
as of right now thats what
i want to do.

and you see that it’s hard for me to breath,
when i get all worked up with these feelings.
( Read more... )

tylenol with codine is doing everything
to me, except for taking away the pain

i'm perfect underneath all this skin
just give me time, and i'll let you in
i need someone to help me live
because i cant do it well myself

if anytime you think you might
be able to make me feel alright
get over here and fix me up
make me feel that i'm enough

yesterday my grandpa passed away. we knew it was coming, but its pretty surreal. it hurts to see my grandma so distraught and the rest of my family so upset. but thats death. he was such a great guy. he did so many great things for people, and it just sucks to watch him have to go through so much pain. he had lung, liver, and brain cancer. he layed ( Read more... )

we are going to fall in love,
     even if it takes years 
                 trust me

It Wont Hurt When You're Healed

i fell in love with you
and your blue eyes didnt help
but i hate the way you smile
when youre with someone else

because maybe i'm not so great
but i'm not trying to be her
eventually you'll love me,
because thats just how love works.

it makes you think that you've lost it all
and there is no reason to carry on
just realize you ( Read more... )

dear new girl,
    i really dont understand you. and in fact i am incredibly jealous of you. i hate the fact that the only person i would give up my life for cares about you and not me. i'm pretty sure you dont know what it feels like to have to look at the boy you're in love with and know that he doesnt care about you, and isnt going ever going to ( Read more... )

                 i can still taste it
sitting in my stomach real unsettled
              its begging to leave

i wish i were you and you were me.
you have everything i need. i dont
want the holidays to come because
i hate feeling alone. i dont like not
being able to see your family and to
converse and enjoy them. i dont
remember how i made it without ( Read more... )

i really dont know if i'll ever love again.
you see i've been meeting all this boys,
and trying to make myself fall in love, &
i just cant. because when i look at them,
i dont think about how much i love their
fingers, or their nails, or their ankles. no,
its none of that. i knew i loved him when
i got to know who he really was. before he
could drive, when ( Read more... )