pardon me this is very typical and not very eloquent

[_colee_]

all i feel is ugly. ugly feelings.

jealousy of all things best friends. i realised that i want every one of my friends to be best friend status and its even sadder that all i have is one by name. And it would probably offend other people if i even breathed the words.

jealousy of all things beautiful. which are often best friends.

resentment and

Comments

[kiwinerd536]

i wrote something here ("here" being livejournal) about being everyone's "last chance friend", about being open and trying to make everyone happy and avoiding conflicts and feeling left out a lot. And everyone rushed to tell me that no, people like you, you are wanted. but it doesn't help, really.
so, just note that i understand. a lot. and that i think everyone does? and i thought your stapled papers were beautiful enough and i saw them everywhere. oh yeah. and that i love you.

[tarawillhanna]

lets be lovely and take a walk in the axe together, chloe and colin stutz tradition style.. and we can maybe even steal the camera.
you are so lovely, i hope you know i think that.

[chloeamelia]

ohh my sweet girl. i read this and my stomach dropped and dropped, levels upon levels. it still feels achey and mournful. i feel ... bad. i feel ... absent. and i know how it feels to feel like nobody would choose you, everybody has their someone else or something else or ... just any else they can dream of. and nothing i can say will really remedy that or heal that hurt, (it's one of those tiny holes in our hearts i believe...) but nevertheless, i would like to say: i absolutely adore you, nicole. i love your writing and your art and your jet black hair and your red nicoley car. i love the way that we can talk for hours and we have SO much understanding that there aren't really words for it, just a whole bunch of "i KNOW"s and "EXACTLY"s. i love the way that you feel feel feel and aren't afraid to put it out here in cyberland

[_colee_]

oh you girls.
thank you.
i guess i'm crawling around for understanding and validation, and i didnt realize that until i read allll your comments and felt sooo much better.

when everyone else is either hurting the same way or at least empathetic, it makes the world easier to deal with.

i love you all =)
nicole

[chloeamelia]

nicole i love you so much that it hurts.

[losers_lives]

i am just a lowly, and very wierd freshmen but.... i think your journal is very intrsisting, and i agree with how you feel about things. and you have to go to ocf... it is the BEST.. lol

[chloeamelia]

WHY DID I WRITE NICOLE? lol i know that your name is comice! ahh i'm whackkk. and i'm glad you find my journal interesting, darling. :) we should chat more, baby.