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Someone told me that the Christmas tree set up on a large piece of equipment in my town is put up every year by a volunteer. Someone actually climbs to the top in the middle of winter and strings lights around the wire frame. They do this so that everyone in the town can see and enjoy it. I don't know if this is true or not. I'd like to think it is
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The comments from those who don't give a shit can be degrading, but at the same time, you have to realize that they are looking for their 10 seconds of fame, and they are probably, deep down, hurting like you are...
Are you reading this, Jerry? Because there are people here, responding to your call, who know where you are - who know what it's like to feel lost. Now, it's your choice to respond to us, or to keep ignoring us, and essentially telling us that you want help, but that we need to fuck ourselves and leave you alone.
Contact me - it's in my user info... Show us that you do care - that there is more than just a shell left in your being. If this is all fake, yeah I'll feel like a dumbass, but that's ok... at least I made the effort to help someone who I thought was in need.
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I also don't want to drag those people down with me by leading them to care on a deeper level than if they do not actually speak with me outside of this journal. I have decided to go through with this, and I am no longer looking for help. The journal only serves as a place for me to write out my last thoughts now. I am deeply sorry to those that do care, but this is the path I've chosen.
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Why are you doing this to yourself when it is so obvious that so many people care?
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Does it make that much of a difference?
You said yourself in the last post that love still exists in this world. You were right, it's not hard to find people who care about strangers. It is, in fact, what charity organizations are all about.
People do care for those they have never met or never will meet. It's just a part of some people's personalities. You've had people comment on this LiveJournal who obviously care Jerry.
Every day thousands of people do hard, hard work for little or no pay to help people they know next to nothing about. There should be no doubt in your mind that there are still people who care.
So then, if you do know that there are people who care, about strangers and about you, what now?
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I also don't want to drag those people down with me by leading them to care on a deeper level than if they do not actually speak with me outside of this journal. I have decided to go through with this, and I am no longer looking for help. The journal only serves as a place for me to write out my last thoughts now. I am deeply sorry to those that do care, but this is the path I've chosen."
Sorry, I posted the above before reading this.
In this case, have you thought of how you'll notify the people that do care on if you live or die?
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... I think.
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-Abigail Van Buren
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