i messed up big time. i can not believe i was that stupid. i got myself into this mess i will do what needs to be done to get myself out.

he gives me that feeling a feeling i havent felt in such a long time. we are talking butterflies everytime i think about him. just the sight of him makes my stomach jump right up into my throat. i thought about him today and it brought a smile to my face. it has to be a good thing.

im nothing but confused lately. im confused about every aspect of my life. i dont know what i want to do but i do know that next fall i will be enrolling in school simply because i know if i dont go than ill never go but is it really such a bad thing if i never go to college? i know i want more for myself than what i got going right now. ive come ( Read more... )

always room for something new

always room for improvement

where is the restart button?

i want something exciting. i feel that im just content with everything i want to be ecstatic. i want something new and fasinating. i wish i enjoyed college, but i dont. find what makes you happy and just do it. i want out of here

im tired. point blank period. im tired of pretending that his past doesnt bother me. im tired of watching my every move in fear that hes going to get upset with something i say or do. im tired of lying because i know he will be angry. im tired of lying to myself. this isnt going to work. not like this. im just tired of it all. the only solution was ( Read more... )

this situation can either go in a positive direction or very far into a negative direction. i hope she proves everyone wrong!

hes always in the back of my mind.always

its been quite some time since i have updated. i feel like this thing is pointless, but writing has become my new favorite form of venting so ill continue. things are ok. i feel like im really beginning to see how it is in the real world. there are days when work is the last thing i want to do but i know i have to do it otherwise i have no money. ( Read more... )