Disclaimer : Do not read if you want to continue thinking I am a good person.

[_emmo]

I always think that god has something against me, or that I am being punished for something. But, I am absolutely sure I get what I deserve. I have to be the worst person in the world. I always pretend that I am alright in the head, and that I am moral and just, but, I'm just missing out on life. I've lost my passion. My life has consisted of

Comments

[__outofmymind]

James, I really don't know what to say. Or what would mean anything from someone on the other side of the world. Life isn't easy, just do the best you can. *hug*, Nick.

heh, i didn't know you still read my livejournal.

[_emmo]

things are a little better. i've had some sleep. i think i'm just stressed about life. i hope to be back in oz within the year.

Re: heh, i didn't know you still read my livejournal.

[__outofmymind]

I read your journal when you actually update :p

Life sometimes gets me down. I try not to let it get to me though (easier said than done). I was in hospital one night from when I tried to overdose--I realised how much it hurt my friends and family to find out about that. It doesn't stop me from still wanting to die, but I think that there are so many things left in the world to experience that I don't want it to end just yet.

I still want to travel the world, I want to go and do so many things.

Hope you have a good day, so smile, and go eat some chocolate and watch a Disney movie (those always make me laugh).

[killinmesoftlee]

What I wanted to say when I started this comment was, "I know exactly how you feel." But that just sounds so dumb no matter how true it is. And i've sat here at my computer for about 5 minutes trying to think of something better to say, but that's really all.
Sorry to be so simple, but i'm in the same position as you, and I know about the whole self-mutilation thing, because my parents are sending me to therapy for it. Because they found me with a kitchen knife to myself.
But yes, I also hate valentines day, but I hope you have a good one my dear.
<5

[pnkngrnd3]

I was bitter for a long time, too. Still am, actually, but I'm dealing with it a bit better now that I've realized why. It's still a heavy burden as I'm not ready to tell people who've hurt me how they have. Searching your mind and your soul is a long, tiring journey.

My mother and I were talking about self mutilation and she asked me why people cut themselves, as I told her that I had at one point. She didn't understand what it's like to be so angry that you feel as though you have to force something out of you so that your anger flows with it.

I know that when I feel overwhelmed with anger and someone I know pisses me off, I tell them (very nastily, too) and while I know they wind up getting hurt and I feel like shit a bit later, it helps at the time. And you're not holding it in, so that's one less bit of bitterness holding you back.

I don't think feeling bitter and wanting to hurt yourself makes you bad; I think it makes you human, suffering through a dark time that you just can't understand.

[hempen_halter]

Come see me tomorrow downtown.
I'm coming with a bunch of boys, so you can have some eye candy.
It will cheer you up to see my smiling face!
I love you!!

[anotherfacade]

I know im basically just that guy you've hung out with on a few rare occasions and had some good times, but you should know that in the short time that we did hang out you always ALWAYS made me smile.
You are alot more special than you give yourself credit for.
i suppose we are all victims of ourselves.
*hug*
im here, if you ever need someone to talk to.