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Long Suffering
Anna: Tell me a story.
Neal: No.
Anna: Please?
Neal: Once upon a time there was a weasel named Steven. And... an ocelot named Bob.
Anna: Excellent.
Neal: And they lived in Chicago and they were furniture repairmen.
Anna: They... what?
Neal: But furniture repair work was difficult and filled with bad smells of upholstery. But Steven and Bob had a band also ( Read more... ) -
Around the House With Anna
*****The following is an abbreviated conversation.*****
Anna: Erin is coming over and we are going to re-pot that big plant. Where is your drill?
Neal: It's in the outdoor tool area. It's the thing in the black bag.
Anna: I'll try not to break it.
Neal: Do you know how to work the chuck?
Anna: What's a chuck?
Neal:
Neal: You know, I'm happy to do it ( Read more... ) -
Normal Household Conversations
Anna: I forgot to tell you, you don't have a computer chair anymore.
Neal: What? Where did it go?
Anna: It's on the balcony.
Neal: ...Ok, why is that?
Anna: It was wet.
Neal: Why?!
Anna: Because I painted it.
Neal: Oh god.
Anna: The seat of the chair is in the living room, if you want that.
(Neal buries head in hands.) -
Work Conversations
Old Lady: “Honey, I’m going to have to cancel my appointment in November.”
Me: “Ok, what day--“
Old Lady: “Hello? I can’t hear you?”
Me: “Yes, I’m---YES I’M HERE. WHAT DAY IS YOUR APPOINTMENT?”
Old Lady: “In November.”
Me: “OKAY. WHAT DAY IN NOVEMBER?”
Old Lady: “Yes it is.”
Me: “um, DO YOU REMEMBER THE DATE? like, IS IT THIS WEEK?”
Old Lady: “It’s this ( Read more... ) -
Cleverbot
I found this amazing site cleverbot.com, which is an AI that talks to you, and learns from what you are saying. I thought it was super funny, and was going to post a few lines from it, but it devolved into this whole freaky AI conversation...
And now you can read all about my attempts to teach Cleverbot about how to run the world (because when has ( Read more... ) -
Things That Annoy Me
1. Slow walkers
Example:
Anna is at the mall. She need to buy one thing, in a store 20 feet away from her.
Oh no! She is with someone who wants to shuffle along and stare aimlessly at things.
50 years later, Anna dies of old age just as they reach the store.
But was it old age? Or was it the slow walker.....
2. Taking ( Read more... ) -
Important Updates From Annaland
Songs I've been singing:
Every little thing I do is magic
Every little thing just turns me on
Even though my love is automatic
My love goes on and on.
Things I've learned recently:
When your client unexpectedly starts to give birth on your table, bring a bucket. Water breaking equals, like, a GALLON of fluid. I've been swimming in it for two days.
( Read more... ) -
Snuggie Zero
Ahhh, the Snuggie. Product of many jokes. White elephant gift to Naleen at her Christmas party. (Not from me.)
( Read more... ) -
I am so going to hell.
Normally, I totally hate religious nuts. I mean, occasionally they are kinda funny to laugh at, but mostly, infuriating. But I met a very, ahem, openly christian man today who was very sweet.
Which is why I feel kinda bad about how horribly I took complete advantage of him.
In my defense, I didn't ACTUALLY say I was a bible banger, I just mumbled ( Read more... ) -
Annnnd She's Back!
Sorry I've been completely gone for this month*, but really, it was just a reflection of my mental state. However, The Month Of Christmas Stress is over, and I am safely back home with absolutely no intimidating lists of things to do. (Like the presents you have received.)
Some things we have said to the cats to relieve stress this month:
"We're ( Read more... )
