I hate the fuckin' holidays. Just so you know.

Okay, so me and Wolf Boy get back here, and Angel turns around and takes off almost immediately. 'Course I don't have any right to complain. What've I done several times in the past? Yeah. But I just hoped maybe we could talk, I guess. I dunno if there's any way to fix everythin' that happened, ( Read more... )

Wish I could figure out how me and Angel got so far apart without realizin' it. I've been thinkin' about it a lot while I'm patrollin', kinda in the back of my mind. If I'd just talked to him before I decided to go off and do my own thing, ya know? I forgot so many things ( Read more... )

This vamp who took B down sure as hell better hope he don't run into me in a dark alley, 'cause I'll be ready for him. B and I have been patrollin' together, and we haven't seen a trace of him yet. Figures.

I'd like to make him pay for the look on Dawnie's face when she saw her sis all lumped up, if nothin' else. Hopin' I'll get the chance ( Read more... )

Angel,

I'm not real sure what to say to you right now. Maybe there'll be time for that later, after I've been gone long enough for you not to hate me. And you should. Hate me, 'cause I know what I did, and I knew while I was doin' it. And I didn't care.

Guess you know where I'm headed. Where else? Sunnydale. B's the only one who'll have me ( Read more... )

So this whole fucked-up head trip is over, as much as it can be. No more itchin', no more night sweats, no more doin' evil shit just for the hell of it. But it ain't over, because nobody gets it: I cheated on Angel before I got all infected. I did it on purpose, an' I didn't care.

I deserved what I got.

Wes keeps givin' me his Watcher wisdom ( Read more... )

Somebody cut my nails to the quick to try to get me to stop clawin' my neck. I know that, and I know that's why he bandaged the left side of my neck, where the worst scars are. Angel. Lookin' at me the whole time, and I couldn't read the expression in his eyes. I was pretendin' I wasn't aware it was him touchin' me, 'cause I was afraid of what ( Read more... )

Fred found me in the basement last night; I think she came down there to get somethin' out of the big freezer, an' there I was, sittin' in the corner, clawin' the shit outta my neck like I've been doin' for days now. Can't stop myself. Gotta get it out, even though the blood runs down and gets caked under my nails ( Read more... )

If I could claw it offa me, I think I'd feel better. It burns. Kinda like the time my uncle thought it'd be a fun idea to see how close he could hold his lighter to my skin when I was about eight.

Burns.

Make it stop. There's blood under my nails, on my neck, in my hair from where I tried to get it off, but I can't.

What've I done...?

Wes talked to me about my little problem of cheatin' on Angel last night. It was all good fun at first, ya know? I pulled out all the stops, tellin' him that maybe if he'd been the kind of Watcher I needed, I wouldn't be so reckless and impulsive. I think the guilt was workin' on him even though he was chewin' my ass out for all he was worth, in ( Read more... )

Angel threw G out on his ass the other day. Big surprise there, huh? That's really too bad, 'cause I was really gettin' into him. He don't call, he don't write, what's a girl supposed to think ( Read more... )