You know what's a great idea for a date? Getting colonics together. THAT is a bonding experience.

And the butt sex afterwords is superb.

I was just sitting at my desk and I had my leg shaking, y'know. And somehow my cock was positioned so that it was right against my leg and it, well, it felt good. So I started to chub up and then all of a sudden I get called to a meeting ( Read more... )

Sometimes when I'm walking through the office, I get paranoid that my cock is hanging out of my pants and I'm too self-conscious to check.

I'm going to Toronto next month. Mostly because I'm horny.

Once you go _fap_ that's all you want to tap.

Yeah, that's the best I could come up with.

Well? What the fuck has been going on?

I want a fez hat. I would look so fucking stylin' in a fez hat.

I couldn't give a crap (or carp) about the new Pope. I just want a blowjob.

I'm reading This book and I've decided that the word "ball" as a term for fucking should come back.

"He eventually got me drunk, naked and balled me".

And Miss Molly sure liked to ball.


( Read more... )

I'm trying to find a retarded person on Xbox Live and I've had no luck so far. But then last night it occurred to me. Remember this line: 'If you can't spot the sucker in your first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.'

What if that works with retards too? What if I can't find a retard on Xbox Live because I'M THE RETARD?!

http://www.news24.com/News24/South_Africa/News/0,,2-7-1442_1685504,00.html

Girl held for sex with dogTzaneen - Three dogs were put down after villagers allegedly caught a 12-year-old girl having sex with one of the animals ( Read more... )