2006: polysics, ellegarden, dir en grey ( Read more... )

welcome i don't really update this anymore but my writing lj is here:
http://blowshard.livejournal.com

woo exo rocks!

it feels like last year all over again
but this summer feels so final.
a second chance at youth with knowledge that has aged me.

the only thing i can do (without being dishonest to myself) is let go

but sometimes i've got myself fooled. i'm a lot better than i was before, but it's still not the same. nothing's as plastic, too good to be true as it used to be. there's always that underlying sadness and cold, bitter expectation that goodness can't be kept. it's feeling more obvious as i try to hide behind a busy schedule and weekly dates with ( Read more... )

the winter weather always inspires the coldest emotions and the sun brings only shallow warmth. in this season, i am most becoming, but i am also at my most subdued.

it happened and i want to be surprised but now i feel like my actions are forced. i want to pretend it didn't happen the way it did because it fucking hurts! but it happened. and now what do i do? time heals everything but i don't want to wait; i just want everything to be better again. how do i let you know that you've hurt me again, so much ( Read more... )

i'm not worth enough to praise

because i don't understand compliments

i'm not nice
i'm not funny
i'm not amazing
and i'm definitely not beautiful

so you should stop because your words don't make any sense to a worthless heartless bitch like me

i often think people are talking about me and i wonder what they're saying. i wonder if what they're saying is what i've been trying to prove to them. you know, that i don't take shit from anyone. but can they see that i'm lying? maybe it's just my superiority complex but i feel like people can't tell that i'm lying through my fucking teeth. i yell ( Read more... )

the sun shines and i tell myself i believe that i can have whatever i want ( Read more... )