i really really love him.

a lot.

its funny how many lives we can lead in such a short period of time. for the most part im the same person, and the life i live day to day now is totally different from the one i lived 10 months ago. the daily routine keeps changing. the people who occupy the day keep shifting. you have the people you see every day, the things that matter to you, ( Read more... )

i feel like im dying inside and theres no one i can talk to about it. i keep asking myself why im doing this and i dont have an answer. i see myself trying to destroy one of the few good things i have right now and i know i should stop. but i cant.

the truth is that i am a wretched individual. i always have been and i fear i always will be.

there are so many people to love.

i can finally listen to the engine driver without feeling sad.

--today i received my 1931 stewart warner 16mm film camera. it has four speeds:low, normal, slow motion, and talking picture speed. it works and sounds beautiful. i will be shooting on wednesday ( Read more... )

--i realized i cant make it to ithaca this friday night for the party. its right at the end of my 13 straight days of working and i will be dead. i work until 7 that night and have to work at 11 on saturday and theres just no way i can handle a trip to ithaca and back that night. lame but true ( Read more... )

Go to Wikipedia and look up your birth day (excluding the year). List three neat facts, two births and one death in your journal, including the year ( Read more... )

( liz's 21st birthday )

i think i need to lose myself at times to stay sane. theres no better way to explain it ( Read more... )

im fucking freaking out.

there was a lot more to say. now i have nothing.

holy anxiety attack, batman.